Experience - Making the impossible possible

 

President Ikeda has said “No matter what the circumstances, the person with the firm resolve can overcome any challenge or difficulty.”  

On March 01, 2021 I was given a neurological diagnosis of early onset. I’m still very young and have no symptoms.  My Neurologist exclaimed that this a progressive neurological disease and symptoms will only worsen with time.  

“What further actions can I take to cure myself?"  I asked. 

My neurologist stated that this disease is incurable.  

I was quite flip in my response when I exclaimed alcoholism is an incurable disease too, but I’m handling my sobriety nicely.  I will overcome THIS incurable disease so let's make the impossible possible!  

Is there anything that you recommend I do moving forward, I asked.  

The neurologist had four imperative recommendations:

1 Take the medication I prescribe for you daily- it is a low dose pill that is non-narcotic, but it will help.

2.Honor your recovery - absolutely no smoking and no drinking alcohol. 

3. Keep your mind active by reading, engaging in challenging games on your phone and learning new skills.

4. Keep your body active and healthy.

I chanted nam myoho renge kyo and made a strong determination to overcome this disease.  As President Ikeda states “to have a goal is to have hope. Once we set a goal each step we take has direction and power.” 

I briefly looked at the symptoms that I may experience as the disease progresses.  It appears from what I know and what I've read that the short-term memory loss may result in muscle loss which may impact my balance, ability to run. walk, write, type, work; basically, a forced method that will take away all of my independence. This diagnosis is basically a slow death sentence and could easily deter most folks from advancing forward, but I choose to turn this diagnosis into a benefit.  

I read keep up to date with reading the SGI publications and since entering recovery, I’ve wanted to get back into shape.  This is an excellent opportunity that allows me to do so I joined Urge fitness gym with elite membership status which allows me to engage in personal training sessions, several classes plus use of general gym equipment.

Given my neurological delays, I chose not to continue driving which meant that I would walk most places. I have the benefit of folks who drive me when I have longer destinations; they are a great help.

As I embarked in my new reality and lifestyle, I realized how out of shape I was; but my determination to get healthy and in the best shape of my life was far too great. 

I am a Buddhist and will overcome any obstacles/challenges that come my way.  

Each morning I would chant to be the light and make it a daily practice to encourage others in their own journey.  

My classes are fun and certainly keep me active and engaged. Spin class provides excellent cardio and strength. Aerial yoga allows me to work on my flexibility, and balance, plus I’m learning a new skill which keeps my mind active. Having a personal trainer guides and educates me on proper form and use of gym equipment so that I may achieve the best from all of my workouts.  

My trainer and class instructors only want me to succeed and I’m very fortunate to have them as part of my care team.

 

 In closing I make the strong determination to collaborate with my care team on the best and safest way I can function independently while overcoming continuous challenges that I face & move forward with my mission for Kosen Rufu.

Johnny

My Daddy was on hospice care at Virtua.  His primary care physician did rounds there and said that it would not be long.  After spending the night in the hospital with my Daddy.  I went home to grab a shower when Brother and the care aid came to be with Daddy.  I just got out of the shower and Brother called me and said that his breathing was different.  I said that I would be there as soon as I'm dressed as I just got out of the shower.  On the way back to the hospital I was hoping for a miracle turnaround for Daddy.  The NY Met's Home Opener was tonight on April 04, 2016 so we could watch together.  When i get to the Hospital room, he was sleeping peacefully like when I left that morning.  I looked up and my Brother said that he had just passed away 2 minutes ago.  Imagining this moment I thought I would be hysterical, being Daddy's girl and all.  Instead I kissed his forehead and said Good bye, that I loved him and thanked him for everything.

I was disappointed in my reaction and felt bad, but I was relieved - he had been sick for so long and I knew he loved Brother and I, but he also missed his late wife, Kathleen and I knew he was at peace resting with her.  

  

Marley

 Happy 21st Birthday to my baby boy!  He passed when he was 20 years old, but his Sister and I still remember Him on his special day.  Marley helped me show Harper the ropes of the household when I adopted her, but he saw her as a pest, however put up with her.  Harper followed him around all the time, in a way she kept him young at heart and helped keep him going all those many years.  While both no strangers to mischief, they were a tag team that always protected me and my home.  

Happy Birthday!  Cheers

The Final Task Pt. 2

Henry Drummond wrote - “Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.”

The man we celebrate today certainly gave his all, doing all he could in various aspects of his life. 

He gave his all to his country.  My father served two tours during the Vietnam War.  Despite being injured during the first tour, after getting well, he continued to serve.  Dad was awarded the Purple Heart for his heroic efforts.

He gave his all to his career. When he was fresh out of the Military and looking for work, Dad was able to get a job with Amtrak through his own Father who worked there. My Dad showed up on his first day, ready to get started in his new job… He was then handed a plunger and cleaning supplies. His new job was to clean the bathrooms on the trains.  It might not have been a dream job, but that did not discourage my Father. He simply saw opportunity and figured he had to start somewhere.  In between cleaning the bathrooms, Dad studied trains and how they work.  He took a few classes, passed a few tests and in due time was promoted to an engineer role.  He managed fixing trains, monitoring all lines running, and was able to spot errors, stop them appropriately and aid in fixing them to get things running again safely.  Throughout his career he was promoted several times, a well-deserved recognition for giving all he could to the job. 

He gave his all to his children.  My Brother and I are very blessed and honored to call this man our Father.  My brother was his baby boy and son (S-U-N), as in center of his universe.  He was the first person to hold me, I was “Daddy’s little girl” and had him wrapped around my finger since day one.   

He gave his all to himself.  Those of us who truly knew him know that each trip to the hospital was not ever uncomplicated and always more frequent than he liked.  As a result we joke of how Penn, Virtua, Kennedy and Care One all have new wings built in their facilities due to my Father’s patronage through the years.  In spite of his various health issues, my Father persevered and always gave everything he could to get well.  
    

He gave his all to his favorite baseball team, the NY Met’s.  Despite the Met’s being in a drought for many, many, many years, my Father never gave up hope.  Last season we watched games together and fully enjoyed the season as they made the World Series.  Despite not winning the World Series where my Father was left with me crying for months, he said to me – “They had a surprisingly great run – they will win it next year.”  I looked up as I wiped a few tears and said “you promise Daddy?”  He replied, “I promise.”  I am holding him to that promise, so don’t be surprised with a NY Met’s World Series win this year. 

Last, but certainly not least – he gave his all to his true love and late wife Kathleen.  In my eyes, their relationship was one of the greatest love stories ever told.  My Father was at a dive bar in Brooklyn, NY on New Year’s Eve with his family.  His brother was supposed to be setup with a lovely lady from the neighborhood.  Dad sat at the bar and sitting next to him was a young woman who smoothly sweet talked him into buying her drinks of red wine and bumming smokes off of him.  They shot the breeze casually about nothing important, she did most of the talking. Finally, my dad, although very nervous, finally pulled the courage together to ask her out on a date, The Lady replied “sure, why not.”  That “lovely lady” would soon become his wife a year later.  Life is funny. She was the one who was supposed to be setup with my father’s brother, who, by the way, never showed up.    

For over 36 years my Father was privileged to hear his wife’s lovely voice spouting commands on a daily basis, and he enjoyed every moment of it.  Mom was high class, and John treated her like his queen without question.  My Father was a quiet man, low stress and easy going and was the perfect balance for Miss classy high maintenance.  On the flip side, Kathleen mothered my Father for those 36 years.  She kept him organized, in line and afloat at all times.  He was very much spoiled by her nurturing personality and demeanor.  They complimented each other very well and had over 36 years of happiness and joy!

We can honor Dad’s legacy in this: give it all you’ve got. Give your all in everything you do - January 30, 1947 - April 4, 2016.

Best Woman Speech

37 years ago, on October 30^th, 1981 was the best day of John-Paul’s life – he became a big brother when I was Born.  My Brother posted a meme on my Facebook page and it had a picture of two toddlers hugging and one was crying, and the caption read “Little Sister, the best friend you can never get rid of.”    Our sibling relationship growing up was close – I spoke, and he listened. 

One fond memory was when Brother and I were doing homework and I had a bright idea to get a jump-start on my adult career as a professional hair stylist.  I put my books down and told Brother to come into the bathroom and he did.  I told Him to stand with his head over the sink because I am getting a start on my career and need to practice.  I lifted a chunk of his bangs in the middle and cut them right down to the hair line with real scissors!  I heard Mommy calling for us, so I said to Him “let’s go back to our homework AND DON’T SAY A PEEP.”    Mommy came into the kitchen and I noticed the rage - I was in hot soup punished and then she started yelling at Brother to which he replied “why am I in trouble too, I didn’t cut it.  Mommy stated, “for being a jackass and just standing there letting her cut it.” 

There were many stories through our childhood where I would torture him, but I was just doing my little sister pest-like duties.  In hindsight, I am certain he appreciated them all.

There came a point when my mischievous side ended, and we began to look out for one another.  He was much older, went to High School and then college before me and gave me the guidance I needed on what to expect and I could spell so helped him out on many occasions with that. 

All in all, we were always there for each other through the great times and tough times.  I read a quote one day that said “A Mothers wish is that her children are close and there for each other even after She passed on.  I can honestly say that She would be proud of us today and the close relationship we have. 

So here we are on the second-best day of my Brother’s life, his Wedding Day and I wish he and Brian much happiness and love.  Congratulations to you both!  Cheers!  

Happy New Year

Dear Family & Friends – 

I hope this note finds you well.  As you can tell I am late with cards this year, but taking the New Year as an opportunity to wish you and yours a very happy one and also provide some updates!

I continue to enjoy my career at Blank Rome, LLP working in Information Security & Audit – basically I am the “Super Sleuth” protecting the data and integrity of the Firm from cyber criminals.  I enjoy it very much.  I also enjoy designing various rooms in my home, all in my mind and on paper, but will leverage contractors eventually.

Marley is doing great, spoiled and enjoys the company of his dog sitter while I am at work.  He had a few trips to the Vet this year, but doing much better.  He will be seventeen this March, his favorite activities include watching SpongeBob Squarepants, NY Met’s and NY Giants games and sleeping.  

John-Paul is still living in South Philadelphia, which I rarely visit as he has no garage for me to park while visiting. What can I say, I live in the suburbs with two way streets, a driveway and garage – I parallel parked enough to get my license and they rest was forgotten after. However, John-Paul and I are very close and we talk daily.  He continues his career as a Professor at CCP and adjunct teaching at Jefferson University and Camden County in medical science subjects that I will not attempt to know or spell correctly.  He and his partner Brian became engaged this year and they also welcomed eight new feet into their home – two pups – Cooper and Otto.  They now have four pups and I am sure Oscar and Ernie love their new brothers.  

Last, but certainly not least as many may have heard, we lost the Patriarch and our Johnny this past April.  He passed peacefully and was reunited with our Mother and his late wife, Kathleen on April 04, 2016.  Just in time for their wedding anniversary on April 06 and I am sure Kathleen greeted him with much love (and yelling – to catch him up like old times.)  While my Johnny was a fighter and dealt with various health issues, that did not stop him from vacation and one last cruise to the Eastern Caribbean in March.  He went with many friends and John-Paul – he was determined and enjoyed the vacation very much!

 

So as we continue into 2017, I am sure I can speak for John-Paul as well – we look forward to a great New Year!  Our Folks may be gone, but taught us so much and we live on through them.  

Much Love –

Danielle & Marley