My Two Cents

Energy and persistence conquer all things. - Benjamin Franklin

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Thirty years ago, doctors discovered that I had craniosynostosis which is a condition in which one or more of the fibrous sutures in an infant skull prematurely fuses by ossification, thereby changing the growth pattern of the skull.  My parents decided to have the surgery to correct this for me and if I were to successfully pull through then there was to be that I would encounter difficulties down the road, such as not being able to speak, learning at a very slow pace and difficulties with walking and such.  At five months old, I went under the knife and pulled through successfully. 

I remember my mother talking about this often with me, mostly when I would look at a portrait she had of me at five months old and I would always comment on what a great picture that is.  She would tell the story every time, “That was right before your surgery, your father and I had that taken just in case you didn’t survive – we would always have the picture.”  Was always kind of an eerie thought and story to hear, but I pulled through so becomes one of those laughable moments. 

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The doctors said I may never be able to speak, yet I have not stopped talking since I was one year old.

The doctors said that I would not develop proper movement skills and would have difficulty even walking, yet to date I’ve completed countless races ranging from 5K’s to the Marathon, completed a triathlon, The Tough Mudder Challenge and practiced Martial Arts and received my Black Belt.

The doctors said I would endure difficulty with learning and struggle greatly in school, yet I sailed through school, graduated college from LaSalle University and even went back for more to complete my Masters Degree in Information Technology Leadership. 

As I sit here and write, I look to my left a see a wall filled with countless race bibs and medals hanging on my wall and as I look to the right I see trophy’s from various races and karate tournaments accompanied by my undergraduate and graduate diplomas on the wall along with various certificates from Microsoft, (ISC) ² and CompTIA.

Now the point of the story is not to toot my own horn, but to relay the message that whatever your goals are in life, then you should shoot for them no matter what regardless of the fact if others tell you that you simply cannot or will not meet them.  The only person who can tell you what you want and will achieve is you! 

So I encourage all of you to set high goals and toot your own horn along the way as whatever you achieve in life deserves to be commended.

Customers Like Me Who Needs Criminals

Kaitlyn, Billy and I were at the Meadows Diner for lunch yesterday and we finish, got up and walked out!  We had a very nice lunch and were off on the hunt for purple roses to visit Kathy.

I woke up with that 'aha' moment this morning and realized YIKES I never paid the check!!  I didn't even wait for it to come; we just walked out with not a care in the world. 

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I walked in this morning and snagged Maria and started my rant and said “Maria!!  I was in yesterday with the kids and totally walked out and never paid the check.  I had the kids, my brother and dad popped over and interrupted me and ..” she stopped me mid explanation and said "Honey, honey calm down what are you so flustered for?  It’s no big deal, just breathe, we'll figure it out." 

I looked her straight in the eye and said "well you know what it is I not am not use to paying this check business, LOL." 

We both laughed hysterically at that, figured everything out and it's settled now plus the waiter got a $10 tip on a $20 check, LOL!     

Maria was a great sport about it; in fact she told me “honey listen to me it seriously happens all the time and mostly with the regulars and when they realize they just come back and it’s settled no big deal.  We’ve been in business so long even before you were born and a few checks here and there are not going to close us down.” 

She said “listen honey have a Happy Easter are you doing the breakfast?  I know about that because your mother and I were chatting one year and I said to her no wonder why our business is so slow on Easter morning, half of Blackwood is at your house!  Enjoy and I am happy you are keeping the tradition up, mommy is smiling down on you guys, always remember that. 

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 It’s amazing how a short Greek woman can brighten up a bittersweet holiday!  

Matryoshka Dolls

"All children are brilliant, beautiful and take after their Grandmother"

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A very true statement!  I am very much like my mother who in return was very much like her mother; the three of us were like a set of Matryoshka Dolls.  

My grandmother was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY.  A true New Yorker indeed, however after raising her family in New York the time came to move to New Jersey to be with her family as they had moved a few years prior and most of all she wanted to be with her grandchildren. She took pride in her grandchildren and spoiled us rotten, yet set us straight when were misbehaving.  She spent as much time as she could with John-Paul, Paul Andrew and myself and we have some pretty amazing memories of our time with her.  

I remember every Friday night my grandmother along with my mother took John-Paul and I to the Deptford mall, every week no question about it. It was always a fun time as mama always spoiled us kids and I remember my mother saying "stop spoiling them, they have enough." Mama simply looked at my mother and said, "When you have grandchildren of your own you may do the same and the beauty of a woman in my position is that I get to enjoy them and give them back to you at the end of the day." After shopping around at the mall we would always stop for ice cream at TCBY in the mall, it became tradition. I however did not like TCBY, so I would sit there in a snit as my mother was like, just try it. Mama rescued me every week and said "come on Danielle; let's get you something else in the food court that you will enjoy." I skipped away holding mama's hand and always looking back and sticking my tongue out at my mother as if to say "HA."  

It was a Friday afternoon and John-Paul and I just got home from school and mama was there.  She sat John-Paul and I down to let us know that she and papa were taking us to Disneyworld that summer. We were so excited!! As school ended for the year we were getting ready and counting the days, however it was no surprise That Paul Krug Sr. would back out as he had more important things to do than to spend time with 'two brats' he would never call his grandchildren. Mama was heartbroken, but my mother turned her frown upside down and said "I’ll go, it will be wonderful time." It was indeed a wonderful time, although things started out shaky. A simple two hour flight seemed to last two days to mama and my mother as I sat with mama on the plane with a double ear infection and my were ears popping all over during flight and I screamed the whole way as everyone on the plane just starred at my grandmother as she rocked me a tried to calm me down. Mama was not disturbed by the stares and comments of the other passengers and she screamed to them "she has a double ear infection and is in pain and if I could give all of you the same ear infections I would, just to see how you like it." The stares and comments quickly ended, mama was a sharp shooter and did not let anyone get in her way. Meanwhile, my mother had the pleasure of minding my brother as he sat there throwing up repeatedly as my mother screamed to the flight attendant "we need another bag and for Christ sake just bring me a stack and stop bringing me one at a time, I’ll give the remainder back after the flight, I promise." Another sharp shooter and a woman who let nothing or no one get in her way. Despite the flight, the rest of our vacation was amazing and indeed wonderful.

The following year, mama was blessed with another grandchild, Paul Andrew Krug. He joined the grandchildren clan and we had so fun with mama as we all continued to be spoiled and loved. I was happy because Paul Andrew was a boy and I was still the only girl and mama's princess. Two years later, Aunt Maryann was expecting another child, I prayed day and night saying, "Please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, etc." Indeed on December 28th a baby boy was born, Michael Steven Krug and I was still the only granddaughter and princess.

Two months later I was excited as Michael's Christening was the following Saturday and I would get to see the family and have a great time as usual. Yet that Sunday before and I remember it very well, mama was sick and in the hospital. That Sunday night my mommy came into the room where John-Paul and I were watching cartoons and I said "do we have to go to school tomorrow? Can we take off to go and see mama, please?" My real motive was not to have to go to school, but I thought throwing mama's name in the mix would help my case. My mother sadly replied, "No, mama passed away and is in heaven now, no school tomorrow or the rest of the week." My tiny heart broke and I would have rather gone to school over that. That Saturday Michael was never christened, it was on hold as we all had a funeral to attend. It was a very sad day for all of us. I remember sitting in the church pew as a little kid and thinking "why did she leave me? I was her princess." I never understood and perhaps never will.

As time moved on and us kids grew up and I remember Michael saying that "mama sounded like an amazing woman and I am sorry I never got to know her better."

She was indeed wonderful and I felt his pain, but my mother to the rescue, took care of all her nephews as her own, just like mama did to her grandchildren. Yet as she did that I still saw the glimmer of sadness in my mother's eyes everyday of her life. She lost her mother and for over nineteen years had to live with that and it broke her heart every day. I remember talking with my mother as I expressed my own sadness at the loss, but I truly did not know what that pain was like. I said to her, "We were taught and raised right and it’s you and me forever kid and I want to have you here as long as forever, I love you so much." She smiled and said "It absolutely is us 'kids' and I would never wish the loss of a mother on my worst enemy, what a tragedy and she was so young at 63 years old, can you imagine? It is simply not fair” I simply replied, "No I can never imagine, nor do I ever want too."

I wonder if my mother is eating her own words now "what a tragedy and she was so young at 63 years old, can you imagine? It is simply not fair."  

Indeed life is unfair and that was a lesson mama taught me, even at an early age.  She also taught me to make the best of every situation as there is nothing that could not be resolved.  It may take some work and patience, but everything always seems to work out with the right attitude and efforts.  My mother taught me the same.  

A loss is never easy to define, so many "whys."  However, as my grandmother taught me - every situation must be made the best of no matter what.  Despite my many moments of nervous breakdowns over the loss of both mama and my mother I am pulling full effort to make the best of what has transpired.  You see I could sit here and cry and curse the world, but what good would that do?  Mama taught me better than that.  While sadness can creep in I am learning to soak it in when appropriate and the rest of the time is spent honoring a life well lived.  It could be as simple of making a right decision and following advice that mama gave me years ago and knowing that she is smiling from heaven because of it.  

So this Friday - February 24, 2012 will be the 20th anniversary that mama passed away and instead of dwelling in my grief I will take a spin around the Deptford mall just like we always did every Friday with mama and as an added bonus, I will spend my father's money just as my mother always did ;-)  I will remember two very special ladies all in one shot, haha!  

The Wonder Years

“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.” - Carol Saline

Tayler came into my life fifteen years ago, I remember it well as a fifteen year old myself at the time I shrugged my shoulders and mumbled “Oh, great, another ‘ONE’” as my mother held her in her arms saying to me “isn’t she beautiful?”

Tayler was ALWAYS around, every day I would come home from a long day at school and mommy would always have a smile on her face and say “look what Tayler did.” I smiled at her ‘ABC’s and 123’s’ that were clearly outside the lines and replied to mommy “hey I got a 97 on my geometry test and that teacher is impossible, but I studied and wrote my index cards and will have an A+ for the marking period.” My mother replied “That’s nice, congratulations” as she scurried around to find a spot on the refrigerator to hang Tayler’s masterpiece up for all to see.

Years moved on that same way and as time passed and Tayler was now old enough to become my partner in crime as oppose to my ‘nemice.’ I quickly took her under my wings and laid the ropes down. She replied, “Okay big sissy, whatever you say.”

We operated well together and I began to teach her things about life and stuff and all while still getting into our own mischief as we became no strangers to the idea of being grounded on a regular basis. Yet we were still spoiled, whatever we wanted was provided to us and we have had some pretty amazing memories of just hanging out, going on vacations and family parties.

The best was always the Hershey Park trips with mommy! I remember one year I was at my Symantec conference all morning only to come into the park to Tayler and mommy saying ”Ugh, what took you so long and please carry our stuff, HERE!” At least they said ‘please’ and then I was like let’s just get a locker for all the stuff. They both replied SIMULTANEOUSLY, “We got one, but this stuff would not fit.” Oh hell no I thought to myself, I am not lugging your crap all over the park all day so I said “give me the key and locker number; I’ll get fit it in.”  Tayler quickly replied “Danielle, the new locker system is complex so I will show you how to open it, but we tried for like a half hour and the stuff will not fit.” As a mathematics genius and IT Specialist I was certain I would be able to figure it out, but I amused the kid and turns out that locker system was beyond me, BUT I did manage to fit everything in the locker so worked out for both of us. After that we went on all sorts of crazy rides and stood in crazy lines to get on those rides, Ahh great times! Afterwards mommy would always take us to the outlets, Coach to be exact and let us get whatever we wanted.

This past summer as back to school was getting closer for Tayler she complained every day “I don’t want to go back to school, I did not even get to do anything fun this summer.” My mother raised her eyebrow and said “It is highly untrue that you had no fun this summer, but I’ll take you and Danielle to the shore next weekend.” Trips to the shore were always fun filled with The Wildwoods rides, the beach, boardwalk, games at Gateway 26, and ice cream at Shelly’s and of course Elvis Radio blasted the whole ride down and back. I took a vacation day that Friday as we were leaving that night. I remember it was a lazy Friday for me and as always another lazy day for Tayler as we lay on the couch, while mommy sat there playing angry birds on her iPad. It was about one o’clock and mommy said to us “What are you girls going to eat for lunch?” We looked at each other and said “Macaroni and cheese please, but make the shells kind.” Mommy looked up from her iPad and said “I didn’t ask what you wanted, I asked what you were having as in the kitchen is two rooms away, go make it yourselves.” I thought Tayler was going to pass out off the couch and on to the floor as she said”Are you serious?” I quickly came to the rescue and said”Mom, I can see if we asked for a cheese sandwich or cereal then we MIGHT be able to fend for ourselves, but macaroni and cheese involves the stove, cheese and who knows what else! Plus no one makes it like you do mommy.” My Mother let out a sigh as she got up to make our lunch and said“what are you two going to do when I am gone?” Tayler and I laughed hysterically rolling on the floor as we looked up and said “SIKE! You’re stuck with us forever Mommy”

.. Little did we know the joke was on us ..

Early September 2011, mommy passed away in her sleep. Everyone kept saying how she was called “Home” and I remember Tayler saying to me “What’s so great about being called ‘Home’ if you ask me she was perfectly happy in the ‘home’ she was in.” I agreed, but apparently God didn’t feel the need to ask our opinions.

I was flipping out one day that week and Tayler said to me “DUDE will you just chill?” I screamed, “CHILL? I have a million things to do! I have to write mommy’s eulogy, pick up Seattle folks at the airport, clean whole house top to bottom and put a zillion pictures together in a collage and time is running out!”

She looked at me and said “Everything will get completed and will work out fine. I’ll take off from school the rest of the week and help you clean the house, put the collages together, you can write the eulogy while I go pick the Seattle family up at the airport; so where are your car keys?” I may have been having a breakdown, but my mind was not gone enough to give her my car keys at fifteen, but an A+ for effort on her part. We stayed up late nights and worked hard and as it turns out everything did work out fine and on time that week and mommy had a beautiful send off.

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I noticed a change in Tayler and as everyone resumed their daily routines, it was that time that she and I would enter “The Wonder Years” – Wondering what we would do now that mommy was gone. Tayler mentioned to me “Mommy taught us well and while we did not always listen, we always heard every word she said and every lesson she taught us; sort of like saving money in a piggy bank - it’s there for when you need it and until then we don't touch it.   Plus we have each other always and forever and we will be okay. Oh and we have to be good because she is watching us.”

I sat there wondering who that child was and where my ‘complaining partner in crime’ went. She was absolutely right though. Despite the fact of how spoiled we were; my mother always taught us what to do, how to appropriately act and handle life situations as they come up and indeed we would be okay. As the older person in the equation, I felt the need to step up and look out for her, but it was not the case. We are to teach each other things and keep each other grounded and act as each other’s safety nets – we are a team. In a ‘fight or flight’ response, Tayler steps up to the plate when need be for everyone she comes in contact with. She is genuine, loving and beautiful and always will be; and by judging how wonderful she is now, there is no doubt in my mind that she will grow to become a fine young lady - classy and successful just like her big sissy!

We are still partners in crime and at times up to no good until this day, but all “minor” complaints and we know mommy is always watching so “we will not misbehave ... too much.”

Daddy's Girl

"Yes, I AM Daddy's Girl!"

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I finally snagged some courage to go through a box called "Kathy's Stuff."

Not knowing what I would find, I continued and opened it.  It was no surprise that my mother kept everything important to her.  That box held memories of all her accomplishments:  diplomas, baptism and confirmation certificates, etc., all of her wedding cards and cards of congratulations on the birth of her two children.  This list goes on, but you get the point.  There was one piece that caught my eye.  A piece written by my father; AND who knew Johnny was a writer in his day.  It was a very beautiful piece, handwritten, dated, signed and as a fellow lefty he stapled the four pages together on the top right side of the pages, gotta love him.  The thing that struck me was the fact that he opened his story with a Quote/Poem.  If you read any of my writings, I always do that, helps spin the inspiration of what is to come.

His writing style is very much like mine or should I say mine is very much like his.

Interesting what you find out when you nosey through "stuff."    

Super Bowl XLVI

“She was a true New Yorker – she yelled, spoke and drove like one and was a faithful Met’s and NY Giants fan; I imagine it is a little late for her to turn the Met’s around, but do not be surprised with a NY Giants super bowl win this year.” – Danielle Vermitsky

I wrote those words into my mother’s eulogy on September 8, 2011. 

On February 5, 2012, The NY Giants went on to win Super Bowl XLVI. 

The regular season started off fantastic and then the Giants fell into a slum of losses so I began to think those words above would never be fulfilled and my faith dwindled.  I sat there and thought to myself, “How silly of me to think that my mother the NY Giants # 1 fan would have any pull in heaven to carry them to victory.” 

However, things began to happen and my faith began to restore. 

The NY Giants squeaked into the playoffs with a regular season ending at 9-7.  First game was the wild card playoffs on January 8, 2012 against the Atlanta Falcons, it was anyone’s game, but Big Blue prevailed so on to the next round.  On January 15, 2012, Big Blue defeated the Green Bay Packers and won the division playoffs.  The Conference Championship was at stake on January 22, 2012 against the San Francisco 49’ers.  A very good and CLOSE game, but Blue won and were off to Super Bowl XLVI for a re-match against the New England Patriots. 

Big Blue Prevailed and brought the Vince Lombardi home to New York, where it belongs! 

Blind Faith

"Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"  The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you." - Mary Stevenson

After the chronicles of my life took place in September 2011, my hope and faith quickly diminished.  I was appalled and resentful, in fact the last church service I had attended to date aside from my mother's funeral was the 'last rights' prayer service led by Fr. Daniel Rocco around my mother's bed before the funeral home took her out.  So to spite God, I turned away; I needed time to think and would perhaps revisit my decision in the future.

Shortly after, my father became very ill, it was so bad I remember thinking "at least when we order mommy's grave stone we will save money by adding my father's dates too, all in one shot."  I then remember sitting in his hospital room one night, I looked up and spoke, "God, if your trying to win me back then you need a new game plan because this is not cutting it."

While the title of this piece is called Blind Faith it should not be confused with its literal meaning of having absolute faith in any circumstance knowing everything will work out in the end, but rather I was literally blind to any faith and thought surely there is no reason for such pain, just a run around and God laughing at my expense.

Time moved on and my father began to get well.  However I was not fooled, "This is all a tease; my father will get well and come home and start to dwindle all over again."

Time passed on and my father came home after a two month tour and three hospitals later.  After having him home for two days so far, I realize my father didn't come home; my 'daddy' came home, the man I remember as a little girl where he was full of energy and passion for for life.

Reflecting back, had God not blessed my father with such a near death experience then we all would have carried on with our miserable lives where the tension of all of us giving up would surely explode one day for the absolute worse, but we are no longer living that life of misery; things are peaceful, happy and working out.  The old adage is true, "Everything happens for a reason, while we may not realize it initially; it will be revealed through time."