Those Multiple 'Ring Ring' Moments

It was at least forty seven times a day (on average) that I would call my Mother and vice-versa.    We would chat; I always called to let her know I got to work safely every day (was always a concern of hers for some reason, LOLOL), etc. 

Many calls were just to say hi and hear each other’s voices.  Every night we spoke to say good night and squeeze in that “sleep tight, I love you” moment. 

Often I called for no reason at all and found my mother catching on and answering the phone and saying either “WHAT?!”  or “Speak oh great one” or if I was really pestering her that day my call was answered with just “SPEAK.”

I remember the very late night calls during football season on the occasional Thursday, Sunday or Monday night games when the Philadelphia Eagles played.  She always went to sleep before the end of the late night games, but could not get a full night’s sleep without knowing the final score so she would call me late at night or early morning and ask “did those ‘beagles’ lose?”  I would always answer honestly and say “yes!”  She always replied, “Good, sleep tight, I love you.”

Of course not every call was a joy ..

There was that one call in December 2009 where I checked in to let her know I had a ‘little’ car accident, she asked where I was and I was honest in saying “oh you know just sitting upside down on the expressway.”  She was not amused.

Less than a year later, May of 2010 she called me at 4:02AM stating “I can’t breathe; I think I have pneumonia, should I go to the hospital?”  I was not amused.  

Thankfully those above two calls ended on a happy note, my flipped car was totaled, but I was not and walked away not even a scratch and after over a week in the hospital with double pneumonia, my Mommy came home and all was well :-> 

We continued our phone call routine daily, much of those conversations were about nothing at all and everything at the same time as we heard each other’s voices and that was simply beautiful. 

September 3, 2011, late at night we spoke to each other and shared our “sleep tight, I love you” moment.  That was our very last phone call.

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Every day I still grab my cell phone to call Mommy just to say hi, let her I know I arrived safely and hear her voice.  Her cell and home phone number are still programmed as ‘Kathleen Vermitsky’ and will remain that way.  I always stop myself and smile instead as I know she is watching over me and knows my where abouts and no doubt helped me arrive safely where ever I go :->  

A Childhood Remembered During A 26.2 Mile Journey

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” - L.M. Montgomery

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At the sound of whistles blown and gunshots fired in the air, we were off like thousands of ants running out of an ant hill we flooded the boards of Cape May New Jersey.  We continued along Ocean Drive, over 4 drawbridges through the fishing port of Lower Township onto the Wildwoods and along the full length of the boardwalk and then through Middle Township on into the island communities of Stone Harbor and Avalon finishing in Sea Isle City.

The wind was fierce as the sand was blowing and clung to the sweat on my skin with every mile accomplished.  My mind drifted as I began to reminisce of visiting each shore point with my family when I was younger.  The smell of fudge and Johnson’s popcorn, the taste of Curley’s fries, Mack and Manco’s pizza and Shelly’s chocolate ice cream.  A few more miles down as I continued my reminiscing remembering the sounds of laughter, sea gulls, amusement park rides, arcade games at Gateway 26 and of course my whining and screaming “daddy carry me” after we walked the full length of the Wildwoods boardwalk and had to venture back.  That few mile stretch from the crest to the north end seemed longer than the yellow brick road journey from The Wizard of Oz as my legs were short at four years old and I was tired, so after much pleading with a few tears shed daddy did carry me all the way back.

More miles down as I continued to remember the sights, sounds and feelings of visiting the shore points when I was younger.

As I approached the final mile ultimately crossing the finish line, I sit here writing reminiscing of the greatest sight, sound and feeling of my times at the Jersey Shore.  The sight was my Mother excitedly waving to me, the sound was her voice yelling “yay Danielle” as she clapped and the feeling was the hug we shared after completing my first 26.2 mile journey.

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This past weekend, Hurricane Sandy devastatingly took away most of those shore points and early September 2011 when my Mother passed she left countless folks devastated, but no one could ever take away the memories encountered, shared, loved and remembered.  Times of devastation bring upon unwanted and scary memories, but also bring hope and opportunity to regroup, rebuild and create new memories and happy times.  Each memory whether it be happy or devastating offer a message and just like the few mile stretch of the Wildwoods Boardwalk as a little kid, the possibilities and opportunities are endless and we must never forget what was, but simultaneously anticipate with excitement of what will be.    

The Greatest Gift

Barely two feet tall at three years old I sat in a chair at Mama Helen’s home waiting to open my birthday presents.  My Grandmother and Mother brought out a present that was bigger than me, certainly much taller than I was.  I was so excited and could not wait to open it; so excitedly I pushed my little glasses up on my face and swung my feet in anticipation as I was not tall enough to have them planted on the floor from the chair and as they placed the gift in my lap, I took a deep breath and unwrapped it only to find out it was …

A BROOM!

This was not your typical household broom to sweep the floors with, but a witch’s broom much like you’d see in the wizard of oz.

As I sat there crying in the chair my Grandmother and Mother all of a sudden became the paparazzi and snapped pictures left and right as I heard them say ‘our little witch born on mischief night was one of the greatest gift we ever received.’

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Reflecting back, I realize that the broom was the greatest gift I ever received.  While a witch is not such a desirable namesake it does resemble a woman of strength, courage and power.

 My real presents that day were not far away, which I unwrapped with all smiles.

While Mama Helen and Mommy are no longer here to celebrate my birthday I know they are celebrating in my honor from above and I just have to say to them yes, I still drive a ‘stick’ and the apple does not fall far from the tree(s) as I have learned from only the BEST witch’s.

PPOD

"I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?" - Henry Ford

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Uncle Paul never worried and simply enjoyed life, always.  As a priest he was a role model to all and I clinged on to him especially when my Grandmother Helen passed away.  There was an extreme void when ‘mama’ passed as we had such great times with her, but the biggest void came within my mother.  She lost her own Mother and quite frankly her Father too as he only ever cared about any of us because of Mama and that was very apparent.  Uncle Paul stepped in and helped create new memories and taught us that life goes on and that we should always enjoy it, no matter what “don’t worry about it” he would always say!   

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Today October 14th 2012 would have been his 80th birthday so I trolled through memories and wrote this in his honor.  

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One of my earliest memories that I clearly remember was when Uncle Paul said a Sunday mass at the house.  I was about five years old and during the Consecration I took note that we did not have any bells so in order to save the mass I decided to act the bell noise out and as he held the host high I spoke out “ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling and ring-a-ling.”  That sent everyone in the house into extreme laughter, even Uncle Paul laughed so hard he almost could not finish mass – my debut was liked by all who laughed - except for one person.  As I enjoyed the laughter, I made eye contact with my Mother who was not only “not amused,” she had the look on her face that said to me ‘after mass you are in so much trouble,’ so I dodged mass and ran into the bathroom to hide in the clothes hamper from my Mother.  As I hid in the hamper patiently, I heard my Mother come in and say “you better not come out, the most solemn part of the mass and you verbally ring bells?”  Uncle Paul quickly came to my rescue and said to my Mother “Kathy, don’t worry about it, she is a kid – you should focus more on the fact that she knew Mass so well and identified that we didn't have bells, relax Kathy as I know even God was laughing too.”  As I heard my mother walk away I saw a glimmer of light as Uncle Paul opened the hamper and said “come on, get out of the hamper.”  I replied, “Is it safe?”  He answered “yes, don’t worry about it – good job and I’ll bring the bells next time.” 

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It was not uncommon to come home from school and find Uncle Paul napping on the sofa.  He would pop in often surprisingly for dinner and family time.  My Mother enjoyed his company and at the same time thought to herself “great not only to I have to ‘cook’ but this man will take my seat on the sofa while he naps.”  While I would pester Uncle Paul as he tried to rest, my Mother ‘cooked’ dinner meaning she would call Melonis and order a home cooked meal.  After two-minutes of slaving on the phone to prepare dinner, it finally arrived and she would call all of us into the kitchen.  Uncle Paul navigated from the sofa to a chair at the kitchen table and as he sat down he would always say “Oh, so good to sit down.” 

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When I was in High School, Uncle Paul came over for the weekend and about 8PM I said “good night to all.”  Uncle Paul replied, “Already?”  I said “yes, I have an early 5AM run in the morning.”  He replied, “I’ll join you, BUT if I am not at the kitchen table when you leave – feel free to start without me.”  Such a jokester he was!   

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One of the final and perhaps greatest memories I have of Uncle Paul was when he took me to Seattle to see the west coast family.  Wonderful vacation does not even begin to describe the time we had and that is a separate writing in itself.  The hospitality of my west coast peeps was truly remarkable and many memories were created that I am forever grateful for. 

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So Happy 80^th Birthday Uncle Paul – we love and miss you!  I wish everyone a happy Sunday and always remember the man’s advice and “don’t worry about it.”       

Flora the Explorer

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”

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Flora came to work at Penn Mutual four years ago on the annuity service side.  Her cube was close to mine as I was just transferred back up to 3 east.  The first time I saw her; she stopped up to me and said ‘Hi, what’s your name?’  I replied ‘Danielle’

She paused and said ‘Okay I got it, I am Flora.’

I replied, ‘very nice to meet you.’

She answered ‘the pleasure is all mine, what a beautiful day, huh?  I have to go, but I will see you around.’

The next morning it was early and I walked into work, in my morning don’t bother me daze as usual when all of a sudden I heard a voice yelling ‘Hi Danielle, how are you today?’

I knew it was Flora, but did not know where the voice was coming from and then I spotted her waving and smiling from the third floor.  Meanwhile I was on the first floor, but how nice I thought; some people don’t like to say hello to you as they pass you in the hallway, but not Flora wherever you were if she spotted you then you got a smile and loud hello.

Despite any battles or pain she may have suffered, she was always happy; AWAYS happy.  I titled this piece ‘Flora the Explorer’ because every day she explored new avenues of happiness and always sought joy for every moment even when life spared moments of anything, but joy.  That thinking at all time is truly a gift and I am sure I speak for not only myself, but for all she met and came in contact with that she was an absolute gift.  

Unseen and Unheard, Yet Always Near

Those we love don't go away; they walk beside us every day.  Unseen, unheard, but always near.

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Well so much for my mother not visiting me in dreams, I saw her last night – however from what I remember we were just sitting there chatting; so there was no surprise "poof" I am here where she showed up and scared the crap out of me.  I started updating her on everything and everyone since September:

I told her I completed the Tough Mudder in April and she replied, “I know I was there – remember?”

The Giants won the Super Bowl, I said.  She proceeded, "Yes, I know and it's amazing how history repeats itself.  That was such a fun night; we had a great Super Bowl party - even the 'iggles' fans were supportive, it was very strange they kept saying 'this one is for you Kathy' like who am I, haha!"

I told her about Paul Andrew's graduation and again she replied, “Yes, I remember, how could I forget that trek to Virginia, it was a nice ceremony though, good thing we have two years before we have to go back for Michael's graduation from tech."

I proceeded to tell her about daddy being in the hospital and she said, “Oh remember that? all the back and forth to Kennedy, then HUP and then the physical therapy rehab, it was exhausting, but only your father and anything for him.” 

Kaitlyn’s been texting you!  My mom replied, “I know and I meant to tell you about that as I think my phone is broke; every time I go to text her back the letters don’t show up – almost like they are invisible, it’s very strange, but I hope she is getting my replies.

I said I think John-Paul had a nice birthday and she was like, “Yes, it was such a nice day – we love the Bonefish Grill, he and I go there all the time.”

Then she looked me in the eyes and said, “What’s with all the reminiscing, you okay?  And why do you keep touching my face and arm?

I said "no reason."  

She then said, “Oh just got an e-mail for cheap airline prices to Europe, I setup a ticker to alert me so let me go research as May will be here before we know it and I am happy you’re coming with us – it will be a great time!”

I then woke up.

Based on the conversation, I don’t think she realized that she had passed away.  And I kept touching her face and arm because that is the first thing I did when I walked into her room that day and it was cold to the touch, yet in my dream she was warm to the touch and I kept touching her to make sure. 

It was a very classy appearance on her part; I guess she is always around within me so I better be good and not “misbehave” 

The 'SUN'

"I was waiting so long for a miracle to come and the world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you." - Celine Dion 

On June 20th 1979, my mother and father arrived from New York to their new home in New Jersey.  My mother was seven and a half months pregnant and assumed her role as she always did of director – ordering the movers, her mother, brothers and husband to get the boxes in and unpacked as this baby will be here in less than two months.

Apparently a nosy little seven and a half month old in the womb heard that comment and had to see what all the fuss was about and my mother went into labor and they were off to the hospital where she gave birth to her ‘SUN.’  Although premature, John-Paul turned out to be a happy healthy baby boy and after a week in the hospital, they arrived back in Blackwood where their new home had quickly grown by two feet.

My grandmother welcomed my parents and her first grandchild as she worked effortlessly the entire week to unpack the essentials and stuff the rest in the attic, basement and garage – all of which I am still unpacking and cleaning out to date.

The ‘SUN’ was the best baby anyone could ask for; rarely cried, got right on a solid sleeping schedule and was an absolute joy to be around so three years later there was no hesitation when my mother told my father they were expecting their second child.  His initial response was “wow, what a surprise, but we seem to have this parenting thing down pat – look how great John-Paul is.”  My mother agreed and said, “Yes, the best ‘SUN’ ever, this little one shall be the same joy.”

Two years later my parents found themselves looking at each other and stating simultaneously, “If she was born first than she would have been an only child.”

Eh, I was born on mischief night, what do you expect?

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‘SUNNY’ barely made it through grade school, however my mother took a deep breath before receiving the first quarter report card from high school and was relieved and very proud to see straight A’s.  He continued that way and eventually graduated with his PhD. from Drexel University.

His accomplishments, responsible action and dedication to his family deserve to be commended.  My brother and I are both alike and different in many ways, but we complement each other very well as we actually always got along and never had that sibling rivalry; the equation was very simple – I tortured him and he sat there and took it and I still try my best until this day :->

All joking aside, we meshed and always took care of will continue to take care of each other; that will never change.

Thirty-three years ago today the world was blessed with an amazing person when my mother delivered her ‘SUN’ – the center of her universe and while she cannot be here on his special day this year, I know she is shining down and smiling while bragging to everyone in heaven, showing pictures and telling stories of her beautiful ‘SUN.’

Happy Birthday John-Paul, enjoy!