Zero to Twenty Seven Seconds

I remember as a little tike when Mother, Brother and I trekked through the crowds of New York City to arrive at Rockefeller Center to see the tree, but it was jam packed.  It was my first tree visit, I was about two feet tall and I figured we would never see the tree in person until I heard my Mother say "hold hands and let's go!"  

We moved through the crowds so fast our hats flew off and I was worried my little glasses would be bumped off my face, but we arrived in twenty seven seconds as my Mother led us troops to the front foot of Rockefeller Center.  As she held me up, I adjusted my little glasses and saw the beautiful tree.

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You could take My Mother out of New York, but you could not take New York out of Mother. 

Point Two

“If you want to run, run a mile.  If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon.” - Emil Zatopek

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People often comment to me, “You ran a Marathon – how long is that?”

“26.2 miles” I reply

“Wow, 26 miles.” They often comment back.

“No, 26.2 miles” I reply

They usually answer back with “Yeah, 26 miles – that’s what I said.”

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It is generally a lost cause for further discussion beyond that point, however if you've ever ran a Marathon then you can relate.

Historically the 26.2 mile distance was established at the 1924 Olympics in Paris, France as the official marathon distance.  Mathematically 26.2 miles is equal to 26 miles plus 385 yards, or 42.16 kilometers.  Furthermore, anyone can run 26 miles, but the .2 is a defining moment.

At the 26 mile marker you can see the finish line, but at that point it looks just as far away from when you stood at the start line, but you persist on.  The mind becomes racing with thoughts – will I set a new personal record (PR)?  Why is there always an incline at the end of the course?  Why do people always yell “You’re almost there” when we all know almost does not count?  

.2 miles or 385 yards does not seem like a long distance when you say it so you make like a bullet and run as fast as you can.  You still see the finish line, but it appears as a banner in front of you as if you were running on a treadmill looking at it.  You misjudged how far that .2 actually is to be running so fast, but you can’t slow down now.  Seconds later, the moment you've waited for arrives and you cross the finish line.

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As you can see there is a lot more to that .2 distance so the next time you hear a runner say the Marathon is 26.2 miles don’t round down to 26.  And if you’re still not convinced, throw on your sneakers and experience the Journey yourself and you’ll see just how significant that .2 is.  

I know you have to run so not to hold you up, but ..

Victor Hugo wrote the following words, “When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says.”

Grandma T certainly had the gift of gab; there was never a moment of silence that passed through her lips, but the beauty of it was not just the fact that she would sit with you for hours and hours and hours telling stories, but that those stories had meaning and she always told a story with a passion and spark.  They were words put together about the things and people she loved the most and were important to her.  Through her gift of “gab,” all who sat with her or spoke on the phone were given the gift to listen.

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She loved her Dunkin Donuts coffee.  I spent many Sunday mornings with Grandma T; they were our coffee Sunday times!  She liked Dunkin Donuts and I of course am a Starbucks snob; so after Sunday Mass I walked into Starbucks and before I got to the counter I had a Venti Bold coffee in my hand.  Next stop was Dunkin Donuts for Grandma T.  I walked into Dunkin and stood at the counter, and stood at the counter, and stood at the counter until the lady said “can I help you?”

“Oh” I replied

“I’ll take a regular coffee with cream and sugar” – they don’t have my order ready for me?  I thought quietly to myself as I secretly plotted a plan in my mind to convert Grandma T to Starbucks.  I never did convert her to Starbucks, but she enjoyed her D&D.

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She loved her Philadelphia Phillies.  October 29th 2008, Grandma T called me to be the first wish me a happy birthday.  I thanked her and then in a sinister voice she spoke “Oh Hun did you see that World Series game?  Not to rub it in that the Met’s didn't even make the World Series, but isn't that something that the Phillies won, who would have thought?”  I then realized that the early Happy Birthday wish was a classy start to what she really wanted to say which I let slide a little as it brought her joy to see her team that she loved so much win the big one.

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She loved the Church and was very devoted to her faith.  She and Grandpa Andy devoted countless hours of service and time to St. Jude’s Church; my home Parish growing up.  She never bothered to ask where you were from, but rather what Parish do you belong to.  She stood by her faith, no matter what.  She was head Queen of St. Jude’s Alter and Rosary society for countless years and always encouraged Parishioners to join and celebrate as a community.

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While Grandma T has passed on to her eternal home, the memories we have and the memories she shared will live with us on a daily basis.

So with all of that said, Grandma T “Lord rest your soul”

.. and may the New York Met’s take the World Series next year!  

Finger Painted Cards and Cereal

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to celebrate and spoil Mom for the 29 years we had together.  While brother and I spoiled her on a daily basis even through the smallest gestures at times we always played the game to extra spoil her on Mother’s day. 

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As a little tike, I showed my appreciation by making a card with markers, stickers and finger paint and always served her breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day as I walked into her bedroom, I said “Mom, I made you cereal all by myself” as I handed her an empty bowl, a spoon, a napkin and a box of cereal from the pantry with a huge smile on my face.  She loved every moment of it and I remember those hugs of appreciation she gave me. 

As time moved on and I entered into the working world I continued my handmade cards as Mother thought cards were a waste of money and she was right so they always remained designed with love from the heart.  Of course, the handmade cards were the best part, but as an added bonus Brother and I began to take notice of subtle hints from Mother and always towards the end of April. 

For example – Mom would say “My jeweler Mike showed me a beautiful diamond necklace today, but do I really need more diamonds?”  John-Paul and I had to translate that into “Oh, Mike showed me a beautiful diamond necklace today and Mother’s Day is around the corner kids, just sayin’.”  We received the subtle message loud and clear and called her private jeweler right away.  Another example was the following year where Mom said “Oh, the iPad was released and I am debating on whether I need one as how many devices does one woman need?”  Again, John-Paul and I translated that to her saying “I want an iPad for Mother’s Day and you two might want to engrave it with a personal message for Mother’s Day or something on the back, just sayin’.”

While her subtle ‘surprise presents’ were much appreciated and upgraded over the years, my cooking skills did not advance much further.  So up until I was 29 years old, she got a cereal breakfast in bed.  I did however begin to place the cereal in the bowl all by myself AND John-Paul and I added a new recipe for the special day on the dinner menu.  We called it reservations!  Only the finest dinner reservations for the finest lady we ever knew at the finest places, she very much deserved it. 

She is very much loved and missed.  

In honor of Mother’s Day weekend we wish all Mother’s the very best.  Enjoy the day!  

Self Sufficient Yet Always Spoiled

I was taught by my Mother at a very young age to become very self sufficient.  I remember the times when I was barely two feet tall and she said “Danielle, there are dishes in the sink – do you think they are going to wash themselves?”  I stood there perplexed, but replied “I can’t reach the sink.”  Thinking to myself ‘hah, beat that one Kathleen,’ however she kindly replied “drag one of the kitchen chairs over to the sink, take your sneakers off, stand on the chair and you will be able to reach the sink.”

I was not amused with her response, but stood on the chair washing dishes as she monitored from the corner of her eye and stating “dish soap doesn’t grow on trees, use less soap.”  

Pft, as I used more dish soap than necessary just to spite her. 

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Dishes were done and I went to watch cartoons on the couch.  Finally some relaxing time as I lay on the couch flipping through cartoons I heard a voice!  “Danielle the hamper looks full to me; clothes don’t wash themselves you know.”

I screamed back, “I can’t reach the washer to put the clothes in.” 

That ought to shut her up I thought to myself. 

All of a sudden she spoke “you know the chair you stood on to do the dishes?  It will work for the washer so gather the clothes, drag the chair over and get started – oh and don’t use too much laundry detergent!” 

I did as was told, but used a little extra laundry detergent :->

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While much of my discipline involved countless “Cinderella” tasks while growing up, it taught me the ropes so I would know how to function as a teenager/adult to be self sufficient.  However, Kathleen did spoil my Brother and I with tasks that we were fully capable of doing ourselves, however why would we when Mommy was always there? 

The picture below hit home for me as I related to each and every one of them. 

Mom can you tie my shoe?  At 22 years old I was walking the wildwood’s boardwalk with My Mother and she said to me “Your shoe is untied.”  I looked down and indeed she was correct so I said “can you tie it?”  She looked at me like no so I said, “No one ties shoes like you do.”  Sure enough she said “put your foot on the bench, I am not bending down for this shit” and she tied my shoe. 

Mom I am done with my banana, can you take it?    After running the Disney marathon, I gulped down two banana’s while standing next to a trashcan with my Mother and when I was done I handed her the banana peels and said “Here, I am all done.”  She replied, “Okay the trash can is right next to you.”  I said, “I just ran a marathon and you want me to exert my tired arms?”  She took my banana peels and tossed them into the trash can right next to me. 

Mom can you come cover me with my blankie, I can’t reach it.  When I was 5 years old I went to bed, but awoke to find my blankie had inched its way to the foot of my bed so I screamed out “Mom Mom Mom!”  She busted into my room in a panic and said “What’s wrong, are you okay?”  I replied, “Yes, but my blankie made its way to the end of my bed and I can't reach it, can you hand it to me?  I can’t fall back asleep without it.”  She snatched my blankie and threw at my face and said, “go to sleep, good night – love you.”       

Can I have a bite of yours?  Often times my Mother and I would go out to eat and we would order the exact same things.  When our food came I took a bite of mine and then said to her, “can I taste yours?”  She would reply “you have the exact same thing.”  As I reached over to her plate with my fork I replied, “I know, but yours might taste better and if so we can switch.”

Mom can you carry me?  Many memories of this as Mom and I walked from North Wildwood to the crest and back.  I was very young and short and my legs became tired easily so I would always stop and scream “CARRY ME” and stood there until she did. 

Such great memories and the final picture was the last one we had ever taken, we were making silly mirror faces taking pictures testing her new iPad camera! 

Ball and Chain since April 06, 1975

JOHN!  I am awake and my coffee is not on my nightstand, chop chop.

JOHN!  My engagement ring diamond has not been upgraded in seven months, did you lose my private jewelers number? 

JOHN!  Take out the trash.

JOHN!  My new Coach handbag is two months old, they just opened a Coach store in the Deptford mall you know. 

JOHN!  Thomas Kinkade just unveiled his latest painting and I don't see a signed and master highlighted artist proof original hanging on the wall.  

JOHN! JOHN! JOHN!

For over 36 years my Father was privileged to hear his wife’s lovely voice spouting commands on a daily basis and he enjoyed every moment of it.  My Mother was classy high maintenance, but John treated her like a queen and always without question.  

My Father is more of a quiet man, low stress and easy going and was the perfect balance for Miss classy high maintenance. 

On the flip side, Kathleen mothered my Father for those 36 years.  She kept him organized, in line and a float at all times.  He was very much spoiled by her nurturing personality and demeanor. 

They complimented each other very well and had over 36 years of happiness and joy! 

Their love story began at a dive bar in Brooklyn, NY.  My Father's Brother was to be setup with a lovely Lady from the neighborhood.  My Father went along for the drinks at the bar.  Next to him at the bar sat a classy Lady, she was under age so sweet talked my Father into buying her wine.  He was so nervous throughout their entire conversation and twiddled his thumbs, but finally built the courage up to ask her on a date.  She said “sure, why not” and a year later they were married.  Life is funny as she was the Lady my Uncle was to be setup with, only he never showed.  Love is a gamble, but my Father got the Queen.   

Filling Some Shoes

“The role of director is essential and a thankless job, but someone has to do it” – Kathleen Vermitsky

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A director is defined as the following - a person usually responsible for the creative development of interactive entertainment, and is generally regarded as the prime design of authority.

I've said this before, but my Mother hosted every holiday and as the director of operations we would all wake up to Kathleen’s angelic voice each holiday as she spoke the following ..

“JOHN start cooking, food doesn't make itself."

"DANIELLE I want this house scrubbed clean from top to bottom so much that if someone drops food on the floor they would still be able to eat it.

"JOHN-PAUL carry the dining room table leaf down, install it and set the table." 

"I have twenty-five plus people coming over and you three are sleeping at 5am on your holiday day off, am I the only who does anything around here?”

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I could never fully fill my Mother’s shoes, however this morning as per usual I hosted Easter breakfast.

I found myself at 5:27AM waking John up yelling for him to start cooking.

After Mass, I came home and paced the house waiting for John-Paul and just as I was about to text him a nasty gram of “where the hell are you, I have an umpteen number of folks who will be here in an hour and a half and you are probably sleeping” he walked through the door before I had the chance to finish my text.  He is lucky I thought to myself.

As my Father and Brother worked tirelessly finishing up the breakfast food preparations I stood there monitoring like wallpaper on the wall.  I started to pace as we had thirty seven minutes left and as I walked back into the kitchen as those two continued the food preparation I looked at them and spoke “Is the dining room table going to set itself?”

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Everything was pulled together and as folks began to filter out to catch a nap before dinner they all said “Everything was beautiful and the food was great, thank you.”  This is the icing on the cake as I spoke out “It is always my pleasure, you’re all very welcome, thank you for coming.”

What can I say as the apple does not fall from the tree and no I did not cook one thing nor did I set the table.  I carried on my Mother’s legacy and assumed the role that she held so dear every year as director and director only.

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Thank you to My Father and Brother for your efforts as everyone enjoyed everything.  It was a great day with all of the family, enjoy!