Happy New Year

Dear Family & Friends – 

I hope this note finds you well.  As you can tell I am late with cards this year, but taking the New Year as an opportunity to wish you and yours a very happy one and also provide some updates!

I continue to enjoy my career at Blank Rome, LLP working in Information Security & Audit – basically I am the “Super Sleuth” protecting the data and integrity of the Firm from cyber criminals.  I enjoy it very much.  I also enjoy designing various rooms in my home, all in my mind and on paper, but will leverage contractors eventually.

Marley is doing great, spoiled and enjoys the company of his dog sitter while I am at work.  He had a few trips to the Vet this year, but doing much better.  He will be seventeen this March, his favorite activities include watching SpongeBob Squarepants, NY Met’s and NY Giants games and sleeping.  

John-Paul is still living in South Philadelphia, which I rarely visit as he has no garage for me to park while visiting. What can I say, I live in the suburbs with two way streets, a driveway and garage – I parallel parked enough to get my license and they rest was forgotten after. However, John-Paul and I are very close and we talk daily.  He continues his career as a Professor at CCP and adjunct teaching at Jefferson University and Camden County in medical science subjects that I will not attempt to know or spell correctly.  He and his partner Brian became engaged this year and they also welcomed eight new feet into their home – two pups – Cooper and Otto.  They now have four pups and I am sure Oscar and Ernie love their new brothers.  

Last, but certainly not least as many may have heard, we lost the Patriarch and our Johnny this past April.  He passed peacefully and was reunited with our Mother and his late wife, Kathleen on April 04, 2016.  Just in time for their wedding anniversary on April 06 and I am sure Kathleen greeted him with much love (and yelling – to catch him up like old times.)  While my Johnny was a fighter and dealt with various health issues, that did not stop him from vacation and one last cruise to the Eastern Caribbean in March.  He went with many friends and John-Paul – he was determined and enjoyed the vacation very much!

 

So as we continue into 2017, I am sure I can speak for John-Paul as well – we look forward to a great New Year!  Our Folks may be gone, but taught us so much and we live on through them.  

Much Love –

Danielle & Marley 

Adoption, forever pest, Marley, Jacob!

Happy Adoption Anniversary to my baby boy! 

December 01, 2011 – fifteen years ago my Mommy, Brother and I were shopping in Center City and we were in Wanamaker (Lord & Taylor) and had dinner reservations planned so we had to be quick.  I needed new gloves and a scarf so was going to make it quick.  We went in and my Mommy saw the sign SPCA on floor 7.  She yelled out “Oh SPCA is here, let’s just browse.”  I replied, “Mommy we are on a time limit and have dinner reserves so just what I need and then we are off.”  She said “okay” – we get in the elevator to go where I need and Mommy immediately pushed floor 7.  I looked at her and said “really, that is not the floor I need.”  She replied “Let’s just browse and say Hi.”  We get to 7 and step out and this dog runs up to me – tan colored with big floppy ears.  My Mommy yells “Oh he loves you.” And then the adoption lady comes running over w/ adoption papers and said “look how much he loves you.”  I took a strong stance and replied “I just lost Bootsy after 14 years and because of you Mommy I have Jacob now and that is plenty.  The adoption lady said “Oh how cute, like A Christmas Carol you have a Jacob pup and this one can be named Marley – get it Jacob Marley?”  I half smiled and said “another character in A Christmas Carol is scrooge and you are looking at her, so NO!” 

In short, dinner was cancelled and Marley came to his forever home with Jacob and I.  Jacob was not impressed and was king so he trained Marley so he knew that.  Marley was just happy to have a home so whatever Jacob wanted he got.  Three years later Jacob had a rare bacterial infection that was trial and error with medication and unfortunately Jacob ran out of time before the right medicine came along. 

So Marley became King and if I don’t say so myself – I am his peasant working for everything he wants and needs.  All in all – he is worth it, my best buddy!  

Dishes and Laundry!

At three years old my Mommy told me to wash the dishes.  Hah, I thought to myself as I cannot reach the sink and proudly explained that to my Mother.  She replied “pull a kitchen chair up to the sink and then you are all set.”  That was not the answer I was looking for, but did what I was told.  The same with laundry – pull a chair up and do the laundry, “oh and when you fold make sure to fold end to end and the fitted sheets call Mama on how to fold correctly.”  I did as I was told, not happy but I did it.  

After a long day at school I quickly said hi and ran as report card came.  Mommy said “come here Danielle, all A’s, but science is a B – please explain.”  I replied “well science is tricky.”  She replied “is it tricky or you didn’t study?”  She had an answer for everything. 

Growing up was the same thing, Mother pushing me and expecting everything – she was so demanding. 

Sunday morning, September 04, 2011, Labor Day weekend I listened as the paramedic told me “I am so sorry, if there was anything we could do we would, but she passed in her sleep around 6am.”  I thanked her and looked at my Father who I saw cry for the first time in my lifetime.  I knew I had my hands full with him without Mommy.  He was a hardworking selfless man who essentially went from his Mother to my Mother – always “mothered” and taken care of.   He simply worked and was given an allowance from Mother – the man didn’t even know how to write a check as he was always “Mothered.”   

Brother and I came together and took care of Dad, all of his health issues and bills paid on time for Him. 

Reflecting back those dishes, laundry and the B on my report card were not of my Mother being demanding at all, she simply set me up for life.  I grew up on September 04, 2011 and was able to handle anything and everything because she was so demanding during my childhood. 

Now we had many happy times, it was not all my Mother being a hard ass as this writing portrays, but the point is just that.  My Mother incorporated her skill at raising children while providing love and countless happy times. 

I still make mistakes, but my Mother’s iron fist still remains and I get through.   My Brother and I are a product of two love birds who taught us well, so instead of crying today – while I miss you Mommy and Daddy (now) – I celebrate the dishes and laundry as I was taught to handle anything! 

And my Mother never could fold a fitted sheet, but I can because my Mama taught me and I listened.

Rents!

Growing up I always had the best time with my Parents!  I was a trouble maker at times, but always appreciated my Parents and everything they did for me.  As time went on Friends of mine would lose a parent and I felt for them as I couldn’t imagine life without my Mommy or Daddy.  They will never leave me I thought.  I said to my Mommy one day “You’re the best – if anything happens to you I hope I am involved as I will never survive without you or Daddy.” 

Little did I know my worst nightmare would come true one day.  On September 04, 2011 my Daddy called me saying he can’t wake Mommy up.  I chuckled to myself as I thought I will wake her ass up when I get there.  I walked into my mommy’s room and knew.  She was cold to touch and snuggled up peacefully.  I called 911 and they came out went into her room and came out to tell me “I am so sorry, if there was anything we could do we would, but she passed in her sleep.”  Just like that, unexpected and uncalled for - my Mommy was gone.  We buried her that Friday. 

We all took it hard, but mostly my Daddy who lost his true Love.  Folks came out saying “at least she didn’t suffer.”  That was not a consolation prize in my mind, like that’s supposed to make me feel better.  I didn’t understand because my Mommy didn’t suffer, but for 4 ½ years after she passed, I watched my Daddy decline.  He suffered emotionally and physically and I watched.  Brother and I did all we could for Daddy, but ultimately hospice was called and morphine kept him comfortable until he was reunited with his true love on April 04, 2016. 

Now I understand while my Mommy did not suffer, but rather a quick and dirty job of her passing in her sleep, I watched my Daddy suffer with multiple health issues and a broken heart of his late wife.  I have experienced both ends, a nightmare of any child. 

The fact that I write this shows that I learned so much from my rents!  So many memories and ass kicking lessons from both brought me to this point!  Stay strong!  I have friends who have one parent left and/or both parents and I get jealous at times, but I know my rents set Brother and I up with what we needed and it was okay to go.  If anything, love and thank your rents and if need be, take care of them with love!  I told my Mommy I would not survive with out her or Daddy, but here I am.  They taught me well.  I miss them both, but will live on in their memory.  

John Meets Wireless Technology

I got Pops an iPad and it took some practice, but he is mastering “his new computer.”  He has a wireless keyboard to go with it and I came home one day from work to find out the aid had set up the keyboard for him.  He said to me “Hey Dani, this keyboard types what I want on my little computer and it is not even connected – isn't that something?”  He had a big smile on his face. 

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I came home tonight and he said to me “Dani, can my little computer play music on your Bose stereo?” 

“Of course,” I replied. 

“So how do you connect it?”  He replied.

I said “Just turn the power button on the Bose like this and then play your music.” 

“That’s it?” he replied as he pressed play on his iPad and it streamed the music through the Bose system.

“Wow” he replied.   “I must have been living in the dark ages.  How do they operate together?  No wires are connecting them together.” 

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The poor man is an engineer from the old days, where he connected and pieced things together for them to work.  

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“It is wireless technology, enjoy!” I replied.  

"Wow, this is all so neat."  He replied. 

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A tear streamed down my face as they grow up so fast :->  

The Family Heirloom 2014

Fifteen years ago My Mother received a dollar store Santa Clause figurine for Christmas from an acquaintance of hers.  The figurine was marked down to 50 cents as the bright orange price tag sticker was still on the piece.  My Mother gracefully accepted the gift with gratitude and thanked the woman, however her wheels started turning.

That week following Christmas we celebrated with the Virginia folks, my Mom’s Brother Paul, Aunt Maryann and the cousins Paul Andrew, Michael and Gregory.  Present time came and Aunt Maryann was last up to open and at the end, my Mother said “Oh Maryann I have one more for you, hold on.”

My Mother came back with a beautifully wrapped box and Aunt Maryann opened it with excitement.  As she unwrapped and opened the box she held in her hand the 50 cent Santa Clause figurine.  She was speechless and was not sure whether to say thank you or not, so my Mother broke the silence and told her the story and my Mother said “just a little gag gift for you, Merry Christmas.”

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The following year we gathered with the Virginia folks for our annual Christmas celebration.  My Mother sat and peeled through the bag of presents from Aunt Maryann and crew and at the very bottom, wrapped in tissue paper was the greatest gift of all; the 50 cent Santa Clause figurine, price tag sticker still attached and all.  And so the ‘Family Heirloom’ was born.

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For fifteen years, the family heirloom was passed back and forth and after Mom passed away I inherited the receiving on her behalf.  This year it was my turn to return the family heirloom to my Aunt!    I had to be clever and think about this one.  So I decided to get a miniature Christmas tree and stick the Santa a top as the tree topper. 

As a decoy, I found a nice picture of my Aunt and Mother.  It was rare that they had a picture taken together as one would always be taking the pictures, while the other one was in the photo.  The box with tree and heirloom was wrapped and the picture, framed was wrapped and placed on top. 

As my aunt opened the framed picture, everyone dwelled on that for a moment and passed around.  Then she started to open the big box.  I thought everyone was still focused on the picture and then My Uncle said “Danielle, I have to give you credit for your efforts in using all that paper to wrap an over sized box where she will find that ‘shitty’ Santa.”  As my Aunt opened the box, she replied “No Paul it’s actually not the Santa.”  Until she pulled out the tree and saw the heirloom a top the tree.  “Never mind,” she replied and we all laughed. 

The family heirloom has been passed back once again! 

The Future is Bright!

My Mom taught and helped shape the future of countless children throughout her career of 27 years.  She cared for them as her own from 6 weeks old until she ushered them off to kindergarten, but always kept in touch with the parents and children as she watched them grow in their future endeavors.  Not a day goes by that I don’t receive a message, a phone call or see a Facebook post from the parents or children themselves, even the original crew from when she started her career. 

It is very refreshing to watch them all grow into the fine individual’s they are as they continue in their success each day. 

One thing that stands out is remembering my Mom receiving countless phone calls from the parents whose children went from her care to kindergarten.  Each and every one of them called to thank her as their child was specially recognized for already knowing their ABC’s and 123’s as well as knowing how to spell their name and write their address. 

I have to laugh as I recall her teaching the children their letters and she would have them write them over and over until they got it perfect.  The letter ‘G’ was always a struggle for the kids and they would sit there and show my Mom and much of their conversation went like the below:

Child: “Kathy I am done with my letters, can I go play now?”

Mom: “Hmm, again – here is another sheet of paper.”

Child: *Sighs* “Kathy how many more times before I can go play?”

Mom: “That’s up to you, write them correctly and you can go play; you know what to do so don’t be sloppy.”

Child: *mumbles under breath* “This is no fun.”

Mom: “What was that?”

Child: “Nothing, Kathy – just doing my letters :->”

Mom: “uh-huh, remember I have all day so please feel free to take your time.”

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It was more than just letters and numbers that she taught as she had them write over and over.  Subliminally, she taught them not to settle and take the easy (sloppy) way out and to take pride in all the work they do, no matter what. 

Over the past few weeks I’ve smiled as I see Facebook posts on some accomplishments of the children under Mom’s care before she passed away; Tina, Mason and Michael.  Tina was still under Mom’s care and had not gone off to school yet, but Mason and Michael went on however came back for the summer!  Tina and Mason recently graduated and are to the next chapter and Michael continues to do well in school as well as making great strides with his sled hockey team, proving to be a leader and now captain of his team. 

As the school year closes, I see how the children she cared for continue to move on successfully; all of them, dating back to the first crew she cared for up until the last crew over a 27 year time frame.  It is comforting to me knowing that so many children will help make the future bright and it all started with my Mother’s care.  He work may have been cut short, but her legacy lives on through all she cared for.  I know she watches over all of them and no doubt bragging up above and smiling. 

Congratulations to all she cared for as you continue in your success and the future is indeed bright.