The Wonder Years

“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.” - Carol Saline

Tayler came into my life fifteen years ago, I remember it well as a fifteen year old myself at the time I shrugged my shoulders and mumbled “Oh, great, another ‘ONE’” as my mother held her in her arms saying to me “isn’t she beautiful?”

Tayler was ALWAYS around, every day I would come home from a long day at school and mommy would always have a smile on her face and say “look what Tayler did.” I smiled at her ‘ABC’s and 123’s’ that were clearly outside the lines and replied to mommy “hey I got a 97 on my geometry test and that teacher is impossible, but I studied and wrote my index cards and will have an A+ for the marking period.” My mother replied “That’s nice, congratulations” as she scurried around to find a spot on the refrigerator to hang Tayler’s masterpiece up for all to see.

Years moved on that same way and as time passed and Tayler was now old enough to become my partner in crime as oppose to my ‘nemice.’ I quickly took her under my wings and laid the ropes down. She replied, “Okay big sissy, whatever you say.”

We operated well together and I began to teach her things about life and stuff and all while still getting into our own mischief as we became no strangers to the idea of being grounded on a regular basis. Yet we were still spoiled, whatever we wanted was provided to us and we have had some pretty amazing memories of just hanging out, going on vacations and family parties.

The best was always the Hershey Park trips with mommy! I remember one year I was at my Symantec conference all morning only to come into the park to Tayler and mommy saying ”Ugh, what took you so long and please carry our stuff, HERE!” At least they said ‘please’ and then I was like let’s just get a locker for all the stuff. They both replied SIMULTANEOUSLY, “We got one, but this stuff would not fit.” Oh hell no I thought to myself, I am not lugging your crap all over the park all day so I said “give me the key and locker number; I’ll get fit it in.”  Tayler quickly replied “Danielle, the new locker system is complex so I will show you how to open it, but we tried for like a half hour and the stuff will not fit.” As a mathematics genius and IT Specialist I was certain I would be able to figure it out, but I amused the kid and turns out that locker system was beyond me, BUT I did manage to fit everything in the locker so worked out for both of us. After that we went on all sorts of crazy rides and stood in crazy lines to get on those rides, Ahh great times! Afterwards mommy would always take us to the outlets, Coach to be exact and let us get whatever we wanted.

This past summer as back to school was getting closer for Tayler she complained every day “I don’t want to go back to school, I did not even get to do anything fun this summer.” My mother raised her eyebrow and said “It is highly untrue that you had no fun this summer, but I’ll take you and Danielle to the shore next weekend.” Trips to the shore were always fun filled with The Wildwoods rides, the beach, boardwalk, games at Gateway 26, and ice cream at Shelly’s and of course Elvis Radio blasted the whole ride down and back. I took a vacation day that Friday as we were leaving that night. I remember it was a lazy Friday for me and as always another lazy day for Tayler as we lay on the couch, while mommy sat there playing angry birds on her iPad. It was about one o’clock and mommy said to us “What are you girls going to eat for lunch?” We looked at each other and said “Macaroni and cheese please, but make the shells kind.” Mommy looked up from her iPad and said “I didn’t ask what you wanted, I asked what you were having as in the kitchen is two rooms away, go make it yourselves.” I thought Tayler was going to pass out off the couch and on to the floor as she said”Are you serious?” I quickly came to the rescue and said”Mom, I can see if we asked for a cheese sandwich or cereal then we MIGHT be able to fend for ourselves, but macaroni and cheese involves the stove, cheese and who knows what else! Plus no one makes it like you do mommy.” My Mother let out a sigh as she got up to make our lunch and said“what are you two going to do when I am gone?” Tayler and I laughed hysterically rolling on the floor as we looked up and said “SIKE! You’re stuck with us forever Mommy”

.. Little did we know the joke was on us ..

Early September 2011, mommy passed away in her sleep. Everyone kept saying how she was called “Home” and I remember Tayler saying to me “What’s so great about being called ‘Home’ if you ask me she was perfectly happy in the ‘home’ she was in.” I agreed, but apparently God didn’t feel the need to ask our opinions.

I was flipping out one day that week and Tayler said to me “DUDE will you just chill?” I screamed, “CHILL? I have a million things to do! I have to write mommy’s eulogy, pick up Seattle folks at the airport, clean whole house top to bottom and put a zillion pictures together in a collage and time is running out!”

She looked at me and said “Everything will get completed and will work out fine. I’ll take off from school the rest of the week and help you clean the house, put the collages together, you can write the eulogy while I go pick the Seattle family up at the airport; so where are your car keys?” I may have been having a breakdown, but my mind was not gone enough to give her my car keys at fifteen, but an A+ for effort on her part. We stayed up late nights and worked hard and as it turns out everything did work out fine and on time that week and mommy had a beautiful send off.

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I noticed a change in Tayler and as everyone resumed their daily routines, it was that time that she and I would enter “The Wonder Years” – Wondering what we would do now that mommy was gone. Tayler mentioned to me “Mommy taught us well and while we did not always listen, we always heard every word she said and every lesson she taught us; sort of like saving money in a piggy bank - it’s there for when you need it and until then we don't touch it.   Plus we have each other always and forever and we will be okay. Oh and we have to be good because she is watching us.”

I sat there wondering who that child was and where my ‘complaining partner in crime’ went. She was absolutely right though. Despite the fact of how spoiled we were; my mother always taught us what to do, how to appropriately act and handle life situations as they come up and indeed we would be okay. As the older person in the equation, I felt the need to step up and look out for her, but it was not the case. We are to teach each other things and keep each other grounded and act as each other’s safety nets – we are a team. In a ‘fight or flight’ response, Tayler steps up to the plate when need be for everyone she comes in contact with. She is genuine, loving and beautiful and always will be; and by judging how wonderful she is now, there is no doubt in my mind that she will grow to become a fine young lady - classy and successful just like her big sissy!

We are still partners in crime and at times up to no good until this day, but all “minor” complaints and we know mommy is always watching so “we will not misbehave ... too much.”

Daddy's Girl

"Yes, I AM Daddy's Girl!"

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I finally snagged some courage to go through a box called "Kathy's Stuff."

Not knowing what I would find, I continued and opened it.  It was no surprise that my mother kept everything important to her.  That box held memories of all her accomplishments:  diplomas, baptism and confirmation certificates, etc., all of her wedding cards and cards of congratulations on the birth of her two children.  This list goes on, but you get the point.  There was one piece that caught my eye.  A piece written by my father; AND who knew Johnny was a writer in his day.  It was a very beautiful piece, handwritten, dated, signed and as a fellow lefty he stapled the four pages together on the top right side of the pages, gotta love him.  The thing that struck me was the fact that he opened his story with a Quote/Poem.  If you read any of my writings, I always do that, helps spin the inspiration of what is to come.

His writing style is very much like mine or should I say mine is very much like his.

Interesting what you find out when you nosey through "stuff."    

Super Bowl XLVI

“She was a true New Yorker – she yelled, spoke and drove like one and was a faithful Met’s and NY Giants fan; I imagine it is a little late for her to turn the Met’s around, but do not be surprised with a NY Giants super bowl win this year.” – Danielle Vermitsky

I wrote those words into my mother’s eulogy on September 8, 2011. 

On February 5, 2012, The NY Giants went on to win Super Bowl XLVI. 

The regular season started off fantastic and then the Giants fell into a slum of losses so I began to think those words above would never be fulfilled and my faith dwindled.  I sat there and thought to myself, “How silly of me to think that my mother the NY Giants # 1 fan would have any pull in heaven to carry them to victory.” 

However, things began to happen and my faith began to restore. 

The NY Giants squeaked into the playoffs with a regular season ending at 9-7.  First game was the wild card playoffs on January 8, 2012 against the Atlanta Falcons, it was anyone’s game, but Big Blue prevailed so on to the next round.  On January 15, 2012, Big Blue defeated the Green Bay Packers and won the division playoffs.  The Conference Championship was at stake on January 22, 2012 against the San Francisco 49’ers.  A very good and CLOSE game, but Blue won and were off to Super Bowl XLVI for a re-match against the New England Patriots. 

Big Blue Prevailed and brought the Vince Lombardi home to New York, where it belongs! 

Blind Faith

"Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"  The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you." - Mary Stevenson

After the chronicles of my life took place in September 2011, my hope and faith quickly diminished.  I was appalled and resentful, in fact the last church service I had attended to date aside from my mother's funeral was the 'last rights' prayer service led by Fr. Daniel Rocco around my mother's bed before the funeral home took her out.  So to spite God, I turned away; I needed time to think and would perhaps revisit my decision in the future.

Shortly after, my father became very ill, it was so bad I remember thinking "at least when we order mommy's grave stone we will save money by adding my father's dates too, all in one shot."  I then remember sitting in his hospital room one night, I looked up and spoke, "God, if your trying to win me back then you need a new game plan because this is not cutting it."

While the title of this piece is called Blind Faith it should not be confused with its literal meaning of having absolute faith in any circumstance knowing everything will work out in the end, but rather I was literally blind to any faith and thought surely there is no reason for such pain, just a run around and God laughing at my expense.

Time moved on and my father began to get well.  However I was not fooled, "This is all a tease; my father will get well and come home and start to dwindle all over again."

Time passed on and my father came home after a two month tour and three hospitals later.  After having him home for two days so far, I realize my father didn't come home; my 'daddy' came home, the man I remember as a little girl where he was full of energy and passion for for life.

Reflecting back, had God not blessed my father with such a near death experience then we all would have carried on with our miserable lives where the tension of all of us giving up would surely explode one day for the absolute worse, but we are no longer living that life of misery; things are peaceful, happy and working out.  The old adage is true, "Everything happens for a reason, while we may not realize it initially; it will be revealed through time."