Blind Faith

"Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"  The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you." - Mary Stevenson

After the chronicles of my life took place in September 2011, my hope and faith quickly diminished.  I was appalled and resentful, in fact the last church service I had attended to date aside from my mother's funeral was the 'last rights' prayer service led by Fr. Daniel Rocco around my mother's bed before the funeral home took her out.  So to spite God, I turned away; I needed time to think and would perhaps revisit my decision in the future.

Shortly after, my father became very ill, it was so bad I remember thinking "at least when we order mommy's grave stone we will save money by adding my father's dates too, all in one shot."  I then remember sitting in his hospital room one night, I looked up and spoke, "God, if your trying to win me back then you need a new game plan because this is not cutting it."

While the title of this piece is called Blind Faith it should not be confused with its literal meaning of having absolute faith in any circumstance knowing everything will work out in the end, but rather I was literally blind to any faith and thought surely there is no reason for such pain, just a run around and God laughing at my expense.

Time moved on and my father began to get well.  However I was not fooled, "This is all a tease; my father will get well and come home and start to dwindle all over again."

Time passed on and my father came home after a two month tour and three hospitals later.  After having him home for two days so far, I realize my father didn't come home; my 'daddy' came home, the man I remember as a little girl where he was full of energy and passion for for life.

Reflecting back, had God not blessed my father with such a near death experience then we all would have carried on with our miserable lives where the tension of all of us giving up would surely explode one day for the absolute worse, but we are no longer living that life of misery; things are peaceful, happy and working out.  The old adage is true, "Everything happens for a reason, while we may not realize it initially; it will be revealed through time."