The Seventh Life is a Charm

James Franco wrote “There is no force on earth more powerful than the will to live.”

The above quote describes my father perfectly.  He is a quiet man who spends ninety nine percent of his time observing conversation rather than participating, but the other one percent is always dedicated to a one line zinger in the middle of conversations and usually in front of a crowd of people where everyone's laughter, including his is at your expense.  My father is a remarkable man in many ways, but his will to fight and live through a multitude of injuries and health issues is one that should be commended. 

His health battles started back when he served in Vietnam.  He was a courageous man and fought like hell through many battles for many years, but ultimately ended up wounded, however that still did not stop him, and after he recovered he kept going.  He was honored with a Purple Heart for his heroic acts and very well deserved.  After much dedication to his country and many years of service, he was able to come home to be with his family.  A year later, he was with his family at a dive bar in Brooklyn, NY on New Years Eve.  His brother was to be setup with a lovely lady from the neighborhood.  My father sat at the bar and next to him was a woman who smoothly sweet talked him into buying her drinks of red wine.  They shot the shit and my dad sat there nervous as he as he spoke and finally pulled the courage together to ask her out on a date, she said “sure why not.” 

That “lovely lady” would soon become his wife a year later and life is funny as she was the one who my father’s brother was to be setup with that night, only my uncle never showed.

My father always had a strong will to live and given his war experiences it was a tough battle mentally, but my mother brought a certain spark to light up his life.  He was very much fascinated by her and did anything for her as well as promised to not only take care of her and their future family, but give her whatever she wanted for the rest of their lives.  Little did he know that what she wanted constantly consisted of diamonds and cars, but whatever she wanted as long as she did the food shopping, he was good to go – a very simple man.

After a few years of married life, my father was on his way home from work.  All of a sudden and car slammed into his little blue chevette.  The rest was unknown to him and for three weeks, my mother visited him every day at the hospital as he fought his way and pulled through.  Years later his first child was born on June 20th, my brother and my mother’s “sun” – the light of her life.  Two years later a little pumpkin of joy was born into their lives on October 30th, a baby girl that had daddy wrapped around her fingers from day one; two more reasons for him to fight and battle in life to do anything to keep going and enjoy.

Years had passed and my brother and I were teenagers and dad had a developed a hernia.  It was a simple operation to fix so no worries, right?  Well the operation went very well, so well that he was released from Kennedy the same day.  My mother was apprehensive, but he was sent home.  I remember waking up to my grandfather at the house saying my father was taken to the emergency room as he had exploded with a major infection.  Weeks went on and my father pulled through as my mother faithfully visited him every day.

Life continued and a few years had passed.  John-Paul was en route in his PhD. program at Drexel University and I was an undergraduate at LaSalle University.  Another hernia developed for dad and it was major.  After years of procrastination, my mother commanded he get it taken care of.  He agreed, but his exact words were “I am not going back to Kennedy; in fact I would NEVER go there again – not even for a paper cut; take me over the bridge to Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.”  My mother agreed and arrangements were made. 

Day of the operation, the three of us sat in the waiting room and the doctor finally came out and stated “the surgery went very well.”  So as the three of us poured out a sigh of relief, the doctor continued and said “the surgery was a success, however his lungs are very weak and they collapsed on the table so we had to take action and put him in a medically induced coma and hooked him up on 100% oxygen, but we have Penn’s finest working him 24/7.”  After we all lifted our tongues of the floor, we went in to see him and we had to suit up in masks and sanitary robe things.  It was a very sad state and my heart dropped as I was convinced daddy would not survive.  Two and a half months later, my father was brought out of his medically induced coma and started a road to recovery.  A month later he ended up in a Physical therapy rehab for another month.  What a long journey, but as always we were by his side – especially my mother, everyday no question about it. 

About nine years later, my great uncle became very ill and was in the hospital for quite some time.  We would visit on weekends and he lives in a quaint town in Bangor, PA on a peaceful farm land.  After a few weeks, my mother told my father “just please go and stay at the house and visit him.”  He agreed as he did whatever my mother wanted, always.  My father enjoyed his time alone there and took care of my great uncle even as he stayed a few weeks extra after he came home.  Turns out my great uncle needed an inspection on his car so my father said “let’s go, you can’t drive yet, but take a ride with me.”  Off they went and his Audi from like the 1920’s passed inspection.  So my great uncle turns around to my father and said “I am ready to give driving a try, let me drive home.”  My father agreed and off they went, again my father was a simple man and agreed to many things; even out of the normal.  My great uncle was pulling into his driveway and hit the gas instead of the break and sent the car flying into a brick barn accompanied by a lovely tree that use to dwell there.  My uncle walked away, not a scratch on him.  My father was a different story; he never liked to wear his seatbelt and was plunged through the windshield.  So off we went to see dad at Pocono Medical, it was awful – he was covered in blood and stitches.  Day after day I would come home from a long day at work and I found my mother standing there saying “you ready.”  Initially I would turn around and say “yes, my bed is calling me.”  She laughed and said “let’s go, your father is in the hospital and I want to see him.”  I felt like saying, “you know how to drive,” but I did whatever she wanted and drove the three hour trek for a fifty minute visit and back – day after day.  After two weeks he came home to much needed medical attention after, but again pulled through. 

Life moved on and my parents were two weeks away from a cruise with great friends and on a bright and sunny Saturday morning at 5AM I received a call from my mother.  I panicked and said “hey what’s up?”  She replied "your father is having a heart attack; his pacemaker keeps blasting him back to life."  I rushed up and my mother turns around and says “The shocking stopped so I am going to do my hair and makeup.”  I told her to hurry up the paramedics will probably be here any minute.  She said “He is okay sitting there, that “Cadillac” pacemaker did its job so I will call 911 when I am done my hair – surely you don’t expect me to go to like this?”  I didn’t argue with the woman and again a week later my father pulled through and was home for recovery.  I sat there and jokingly said to my mother “good thing you always get insurance or vacations, huh?”  She looked at me with a blank stare and said “what do you mean?”  I replied, “Well dad just got home and is recovering so I assume the cruise is cancelled?”  She replied, “Are you crazy?  If the man’s ‘going to go’ he will be done whether he is on a cruise ship or sitting in his chair and he will be sorrier if he ruins my cruise.”  So they went on the cruise and had a wonderful time, my father pulled through. 

Unfortunately, that was the last cruise my parents would ever sail together.  On September 04, 2011 my mother passed peacefully in her sleep.  What a complete shock, I believe time stopped that day; at least it did for us.

Dad took it hard as we all did, but his original will to carry on was no longer present and he began to dwindle right before our eyes.  Unsurprisingly, health issues came up and smacked him right in the ass one day, literally!  He lay in a pool of blood with an internal bleed.  My brother found him and called 911.  Turns out he lost seven units of blood and his blood pressure was 60 over ZERO!  I kept in touch with my brother as I rushed out of work and said try Penn, but will probably be Virtua.  He agreed and called me and said “we are on our way to Kennedy, it is close and he has no time.”  He lay there practically dead in the ICU and I knew it was over.  I had become in no mood for anyone and thought how horrible to lose both my parents in less than two months.  Yet he held on and issue after issue came up, but fortunately we were able to reach out to Penn’s finest and in a seven hour time frame calls were made and strings were pulled and my father took a first class flight on PennStar and was promptly cared for.  Two months later, I was visiting him at the current physical therapy rehab and we had a nice talk.  He has pulled through physically and now mentally, even with the loss of his wife and best friend.  He looked me straight in the eye tonight and said “I am ready to leave; tomorrow the physical therapist will give me a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to bust out of this joint and it better be a ‘yes’ because I have big plans.  I am busting out the instruments and getting back to playing them, I am going to go to the gym everyday and I am buying a new car and will travel to see my buddies.”  I was so pleased and I said “You’re finally going to get your Cadillac, huh?”  He turned around and said to me “Nah, your mother always wanted the Buick Lacrosse, she never got it, but I always gave her anything she wanted and I won’t stop here.  I am going to get one of those customized license plates that says ‘4 Kat’ and she will have her Lacrosse.” 

My heart melted and that is usually rare for me, but I am very happy to see my father today the way he is.  He is optimistic, full of life and energy and still has that sense of humor!  So in honor of his 65^th birthday on January 30^th may he enjoy his “seventh life,” we love you and may he always remember that his wife is watching over him, so he shall not “misbehave.”