The Family Heirloom

Twelve years ago My Mother received a dollar store Santa Clause figurine for Christmas from an acquaintance of hers.  The figurine was marked down to 50 cents as the bright orange price tag sticker was still on the piece.  My Mother gracefully accepted the gift with gratitude and thanked the woman, however her wheels started turning. 

That week following Christmas we celebrated with the Virginia folks, my Mom’s Brother Paul, Aunt Maryann and the cousins Paul Andrew, Michael and Gregory.  Present time came and Aunt Maryann was last up to open and at the end, my Mother said “Oh Maryann I have one more for you, hold on.” 

My Mother came back with a beautifully wrapped box and Aunt Maryann opened it with excitement.  As she unwrapped and opened the box she held in her hand the 50 cent Santa Clause figurine.  She was speechless and was not sure whether to say thank you or not, so my Mother broke the silence and told her the story and my Mother said “just a little gag gift for you, Merry Christmas.”

--

The following year we gathered with the Virginia folks for our annual Christmas celebration.  My Mother sat and peeled through the bag of presents from Aunt Maryann and crew and at the very bottom, wrapped in tissue paper was the greatest gift of all; the 50 cent Santa Clause figurine, price tag sticker still attached and all.  And so the ‘Family Heirloom’ was born. 

Every Christmas, the figurine was passed back and forth between my Mother and Aunt Maryann, it became tradition. 

Last year, after the sudden death of my Mother and with father in the ICU at HUP I was not really in the Christmas Spirit, but alas we had the Virginia crew for the annual celebration.  Present time came and I opened mine and at the bottom of the bag was the infamous 50 cent Santa Clause figurine and yes the price tag sticker lasted all those years and was still prominent.  It brought a smile to my face and I began to plot the return of the Santa. 

Last night we had Christmas Eve here at my “Palace” and the Virginia crew came out early for the first time in over 21 years.  We had a great night, everyone actually like the soups I made (as per tradition) and it was now present time and my present debut was closer and closer!       

Aunt Maryann sat down and opened this oversized box where she found a beautiful red Waterford Crystal box.  My Uncle Paul said “Oh wow, she dug deep into those pockets this year” and then Aunt Maryann replied, “Oh my God, I think I just thought of something”  "Yeah, I think I just thought of something."  She continued to open and screamed with joy “I knew it, I knew it as soon as I saw Waterford.”

So The Family Heirloom has been passed back to its rightful owner.  Stay tuned for my reaction next year! 

Merry Christmas!  

Those Multiple 'Ring Ring' Moments

It was at least forty seven times a day (on average) that I would call my Mother and vice-versa.    We would chat; I always called to let her know I got to work safely every day (was always a concern of hers for some reason, LOLOL), etc. 

Many calls were just to say hi and hear each other’s voices.  Every night we spoke to say good night and squeeze in that “sleep tight, I love you” moment. 

Often I called for no reason at all and found my mother catching on and answering the phone and saying either “WHAT?!”  or “Speak oh great one” or if I was really pestering her that day my call was answered with just “SPEAK.”

I remember the very late night calls during football season on the occasional Thursday, Sunday or Monday night games when the Philadelphia Eagles played.  She always went to sleep before the end of the late night games, but could not get a full night’s sleep without knowing the final score so she would call me late at night or early morning and ask “did those ‘beagles’ lose?”  I would always answer honestly and say “yes!”  She always replied, “Good, sleep tight, I love you.”

Of course not every call was a joy ..

There was that one call in December 2009 where I checked in to let her know I had a ‘little’ car accident, she asked where I was and I was honest in saying “oh you know just sitting upside down on the expressway.”  She was not amused.

Less than a year later, May of 2010 she called me at 4:02AM stating “I can’t breathe; I think I have pneumonia, should I go to the hospital?”  I was not amused.  

Thankfully those above two calls ended on a happy note, my flipped car was totaled, but I was not and walked away not even a scratch and after over a week in the hospital with double pneumonia, my Mommy came home and all was well :-> 

We continued our phone call routine daily, much of those conversations were about nothing at all and everything at the same time as we heard each other’s voices and that was simply beautiful. 

September 3, 2011, late at night we spoke to each other and shared our “sleep tight, I love you” moment.  That was our very last phone call.

--

Every day I still grab my cell phone to call Mommy just to say hi, let her I know I arrived safely and hear her voice.  Her cell and home phone number are still programmed as ‘Kathleen Vermitsky’ and will remain that way.  I always stop myself and smile instead as I know she is watching over me and knows my where abouts and no doubt helped me arrive safely where ever I go :->  

A Childhood Remembered During A 26.2 Mile Journey

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” - L.M. Montgomery

--

At the sound of whistles blown and gunshots fired in the air, we were off like thousands of ants running out of an ant hill we flooded the boards of Cape May New Jersey.  We continued along Ocean Drive, over 4 drawbridges through the fishing port of Lower Township onto the Wildwoods and along the full length of the boardwalk and then through Middle Township on into the island communities of Stone Harbor and Avalon finishing in Sea Isle City.

The wind was fierce as the sand was blowing and clung to the sweat on my skin with every mile accomplished.  My mind drifted as I began to reminisce of visiting each shore point with my family when I was younger.  The smell of fudge and Johnson’s popcorn, the taste of Curley’s fries, Mack and Manco’s pizza and Shelly’s chocolate ice cream.  A few more miles down as I continued my reminiscing remembering the sounds of laughter, sea gulls, amusement park rides, arcade games at Gateway 26 and of course my whining and screaming “daddy carry me” after we walked the full length of the Wildwoods boardwalk and had to venture back.  That few mile stretch from the crest to the north end seemed longer than the yellow brick road journey from The Wizard of Oz as my legs were short at four years old and I was tired, so after much pleading with a few tears shed daddy did carry me all the way back.

More miles down as I continued to remember the sights, sounds and feelings of visiting the shore points when I was younger.

As I approached the final mile ultimately crossing the finish line, I sit here writing reminiscing of the greatest sight, sound and feeling of my times at the Jersey Shore.  The sight was my Mother excitedly waving to me, the sound was her voice yelling “yay Danielle” as she clapped and the feeling was the hug we shared after completing my first 26.2 mile journey.

--

This past weekend, Hurricane Sandy devastatingly took away most of those shore points and early September 2011 when my Mother passed she left countless folks devastated, but no one could ever take away the memories encountered, shared, loved and remembered.  Times of devastation bring upon unwanted and scary memories, but also bring hope and opportunity to regroup, rebuild and create new memories and happy times.  Each memory whether it be happy or devastating offer a message and just like the few mile stretch of the Wildwoods Boardwalk as a little kid, the possibilities and opportunities are endless and we must never forget what was, but simultaneously anticipate with excitement of what will be.    

The Greatest Gift

Barely two feet tall at three years old I sat in a chair at Mama Helen’s home waiting to open my birthday presents.  My Grandmother and Mother brought out a present that was bigger than me, certainly much taller than I was.  I was so excited and could not wait to open it; so excitedly I pushed my little glasses up on my face and swung my feet in anticipation as I was not tall enough to have them planted on the floor from the chair and as they placed the gift in my lap, I took a deep breath and unwrapped it only to find out it was …

A BROOM!

This was not your typical household broom to sweep the floors with, but a witch’s broom much like you’d see in the wizard of oz.

As I sat there crying in the chair my Grandmother and Mother all of a sudden became the paparazzi and snapped pictures left and right as I heard them say ‘our little witch born on mischief night was one of the greatest gift we ever received.’

---

Reflecting back, I realize that the broom was the greatest gift I ever received.  While a witch is not such a desirable namesake it does resemble a woman of strength, courage and power.

 My real presents that day were not far away, which I unwrapped with all smiles.

While Mama Helen and Mommy are no longer here to celebrate my birthday I know they are celebrating in my honor from above and I just have to say to them yes, I still drive a ‘stick’ and the apple does not fall far from the tree(s) as I have learned from only the BEST witch’s.

PPOD

"I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?" - Henry Ford

---

Uncle Paul never worried and simply enjoyed life, always.  As a priest he was a role model to all and I clinged on to him especially when my Grandmother Helen passed away.  There was an extreme void when ‘mama’ passed as we had such great times with her, but the biggest void came within my mother.  She lost her own Mother and quite frankly her Father too as he only ever cared about any of us because of Mama and that was very apparent.  Uncle Paul stepped in and helped create new memories and taught us that life goes on and that we should always enjoy it, no matter what “don’t worry about it” he would always say!   

--

Today October 14th 2012 would have been his 80th birthday so I trolled through memories and wrote this in his honor.  

--       

One of my earliest memories that I clearly remember was when Uncle Paul said a Sunday mass at the house.  I was about five years old and during the Consecration I took note that we did not have any bells so in order to save the mass I decided to act the bell noise out and as he held the host high I spoke out “ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling and ring-a-ling.”  That sent everyone in the house into extreme laughter, even Uncle Paul laughed so hard he almost could not finish mass – my debut was liked by all who laughed - except for one person.  As I enjoyed the laughter, I made eye contact with my Mother who was not only “not amused,” she had the look on her face that said to me ‘after mass you are in so much trouble,’ so I dodged mass and ran into the bathroom to hide in the clothes hamper from my Mother.  As I hid in the hamper patiently, I heard my Mother come in and say “you better not come out, the most solemn part of the mass and you verbally ring bells?”  Uncle Paul quickly came to my rescue and said to my Mother “Kathy, don’t worry about it, she is a kid – you should focus more on the fact that she knew Mass so well and identified that we didn't have bells, relax Kathy as I know even God was laughing too.”  As I heard my mother walk away I saw a glimmer of light as Uncle Paul opened the hamper and said “come on, get out of the hamper.”  I replied, “Is it safe?”  He answered “yes, don’t worry about it – good job and I’ll bring the bells next time.” 

--

It was not uncommon to come home from school and find Uncle Paul napping on the sofa.  He would pop in often surprisingly for dinner and family time.  My Mother enjoyed his company and at the same time thought to herself “great not only to I have to ‘cook’ but this man will take my seat on the sofa while he naps.”  While I would pester Uncle Paul as he tried to rest, my Mother ‘cooked’ dinner meaning she would call Melonis and order a home cooked meal.  After two-minutes of slaving on the phone to prepare dinner, it finally arrived and she would call all of us into the kitchen.  Uncle Paul navigated from the sofa to a chair at the kitchen table and as he sat down he would always say “Oh, so good to sit down.” 

--

When I was in High School, Uncle Paul came over for the weekend and about 8PM I said “good night to all.”  Uncle Paul replied, “Already?”  I said “yes, I have an early 5AM run in the morning.”  He replied, “I’ll join you, BUT if I am not at the kitchen table when you leave – feel free to start without me.”  Such a jokester he was!   

--

One of the final and perhaps greatest memories I have of Uncle Paul was when he took me to Seattle to see the west coast family.  Wonderful vacation does not even begin to describe the time we had and that is a separate writing in itself.  The hospitality of my west coast peeps was truly remarkable and many memories were created that I am forever grateful for. 

--

So Happy 80^th Birthday Uncle Paul – we love and miss you!  I wish everyone a happy Sunday and always remember the man’s advice and “don’t worry about it.”       

Flora the Explorer

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”

--

Flora came to work at Penn Mutual four years ago on the annuity service side.  Her cube was close to mine as I was just transferred back up to 3 east.  The first time I saw her; she stopped up to me and said ‘Hi, what’s your name?’  I replied ‘Danielle’

She paused and said ‘Okay I got it, I am Flora.’

I replied, ‘very nice to meet you.’

She answered ‘the pleasure is all mine, what a beautiful day, huh?  I have to go, but I will see you around.’

The next morning it was early and I walked into work, in my morning don’t bother me daze as usual when all of a sudden I heard a voice yelling ‘Hi Danielle, how are you today?’

I knew it was Flora, but did not know where the voice was coming from and then I spotted her waving and smiling from the third floor.  Meanwhile I was on the first floor, but how nice I thought; some people don’t like to say hello to you as they pass you in the hallway, but not Flora wherever you were if she spotted you then you got a smile and loud hello.

Despite any battles or pain she may have suffered, she was always happy; AWAYS happy.  I titled this piece ‘Flora the Explorer’ because every day she explored new avenues of happiness and always sought joy for every moment even when life spared moments of anything, but joy.  That thinking at all time is truly a gift and I am sure I speak for not only myself, but for all she met and came in contact with that she was an absolute gift.  

Unseen and Unheard, Yet Always Near

Those we love don't go away; they walk beside us every day.  Unseen, unheard, but always near.

---

Well so much for my mother not visiting me in dreams, I saw her last night – however from what I remember we were just sitting there chatting; so there was no surprise "poof" I am here where she showed up and scared the crap out of me.  I started updating her on everything and everyone since September:

I told her I completed the Tough Mudder in April and she replied, “I know I was there – remember?”

The Giants won the Super Bowl, I said.  She proceeded, "Yes, I know and it's amazing how history repeats itself.  That was such a fun night; we had a great Super Bowl party - even the 'iggles' fans were supportive, it was very strange they kept saying 'this one is for you Kathy' like who am I, haha!"

I told her about Paul Andrew's graduation and again she replied, “Yes, I remember, how could I forget that trek to Virginia, it was a nice ceremony though, good thing we have two years before we have to go back for Michael's graduation from tech."

I proceeded to tell her about daddy being in the hospital and she said, “Oh remember that? all the back and forth to Kennedy, then HUP and then the physical therapy rehab, it was exhausting, but only your father and anything for him.” 

Kaitlyn’s been texting you!  My mom replied, “I know and I meant to tell you about that as I think my phone is broke; every time I go to text her back the letters don’t show up – almost like they are invisible, it’s very strange, but I hope she is getting my replies.

I said I think John-Paul had a nice birthday and she was like, “Yes, it was such a nice day – we love the Bonefish Grill, he and I go there all the time.”

Then she looked me in the eyes and said, “What’s with all the reminiscing, you okay?  And why do you keep touching my face and arm?

I said "no reason."  

She then said, “Oh just got an e-mail for cheap airline prices to Europe, I setup a ticker to alert me so let me go research as May will be here before we know it and I am happy you’re coming with us – it will be a great time!”

I then woke up.

Based on the conversation, I don’t think she realized that she had passed away.  And I kept touching her face and arm because that is the first thing I did when I walked into her room that day and it was cold to the touch, yet in my dream she was warm to the touch and I kept touching her to make sure. 

It was a very classy appearance on her part; I guess she is always around within me so I better be good and not “misbehave” 

The 'SUN'

"I was waiting so long for a miracle to come and the world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you." - Celine Dion 

On June 20th 1979, my mother and father arrived from New York to their new home in New Jersey.  My mother was seven and a half months pregnant and assumed her role as she always did of director – ordering the movers, her mother, brothers and husband to get the boxes in and unpacked as this baby will be here in less than two months.

Apparently a nosy little seven and a half month old in the womb heard that comment and had to see what all the fuss was about and my mother went into labor and they were off to the hospital where she gave birth to her ‘SUN.’  Although premature, John-Paul turned out to be a happy healthy baby boy and after a week in the hospital, they arrived back in Blackwood where their new home had quickly grown by two feet.

My grandmother welcomed my parents and her first grandchild as she worked effortlessly the entire week to unpack the essentials and stuff the rest in the attic, basement and garage – all of which I am still unpacking and cleaning out to date.

The ‘SUN’ was the best baby anyone could ask for; rarely cried, got right on a solid sleeping schedule and was an absolute joy to be around so three years later there was no hesitation when my mother told my father they were expecting their second child.  His initial response was “wow, what a surprise, but we seem to have this parenting thing down pat – look how great John-Paul is.”  My mother agreed and said, “Yes, the best ‘SUN’ ever, this little one shall be the same joy.”

Two years later my parents found themselves looking at each other and stating simultaneously, “If she was born first than she would have been an only child.”

Eh, I was born on mischief night, what do you expect?

---

‘SUNNY’ barely made it through grade school, however my mother took a deep breath before receiving the first quarter report card from high school and was relieved and very proud to see straight A’s.  He continued that way and eventually graduated with his PhD. from Drexel University.

His accomplishments, responsible action and dedication to his family deserve to be commended.  My brother and I are both alike and different in many ways, but we complement each other very well as we actually always got along and never had that sibling rivalry; the equation was very simple – I tortured him and he sat there and took it and I still try my best until this day :->

All joking aside, we meshed and always took care of will continue to take care of each other; that will never change.

Thirty-three years ago today the world was blessed with an amazing person when my mother delivered her ‘SUN’ – the center of her universe and while she cannot be here on his special day this year, I know she is shining down and smiling while bragging to everyone in heaven, showing pictures and telling stories of her beautiful ‘SUN.’

Happy Birthday John-Paul, enjoy!

Nostalgic Bloopers - Watermelon Seeds, Stamps and Collage

“I don't think it's healthy to take yourself too seriously; if you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at.” – Payne Stewart

Watermelon is fully back in season and as I was at Whole Foods buying some already cut up and seeds taken out I remembered funny a story and was inspired to write about a few ‘bloopers’ of my life where common sense took a day trip and laughs were shared at my expense and a little piece from my brother’s life too!

Five years ago I ran The Revolutionary Run on the Fourth of July.  The race was a great time and afterwards they had a nice display of fruit.  One thing that stood out for me was the watermelon.  It was perfectly cut and the race organizers took every seed out.  I thought that was a nice touch and was very impressed.  As I got home my mother asked how the race was and I replied, “It was great and they had lots of fruit afterwards and guess what mom!”  She replied, “What?”  I said, “Someone took all the seeds out of the watermelon so we wouldn't have to pick through, isn’t that impressive?”  She had a look on her face like she was ready to scratch her head wondering why she paid for that undergraduate degree from the university, but she kindly replied, “That’s wonderful Danielle, sounds like you really enjoyed it, however is it possible that the watermelon was seedless?”

In my defense, I did not know seedless watermelon existed.

My mother told everyone the story.

---

It was a summer day and I had the day off, my mother sat there writing out the bills and placing them in their appropriate envelope.  She ran out of stamps and asked me if I would go to the post office and buy stamps, place them on the envelopes and mail out.  I agreed and was on my merry way and as I ran outside with envelopes in hand my mother screamed “stamps go on the upper right side of the envelope.”  I replied back, “I know, I know, do I look like an idiot?”

I arrived at the post office and got a book of stamps and went to the side counter and placed a stamp on the first five envelopes which all had the ‘place stamp here’ box.  I flipped to the sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth envelope and they did not have the little ‘place stamp here boxes.’  I thought to myself that’s very nice of the company not to require any postage, so didn't place a stamp on those dropped all the envelopes in the mailbox and headed back home.  I gave my mom the remaining stamps and she said, “Change.”  I said, oh it’s in my car; I’ll get it later” – meaning she would never see it again, that’s how I roll.  I went in the living room and all of a sudden hear my mother call, “Danielle!”  I said, “What?”  She replied “are you a light bulb with that ‘what’ business, come here.”

I knew that was coming, one of my mother’s number one rules – never say ‘what’ when she calls you, always go see what she wants in person.

I went in the kitchen and she said, “I gave you nine envelopes and you only used five stamps.”  I was quick to reply, “Yes five envelopes had the ‘place stamp here’ box, but the other four didn't so must not require postage” and I went on about how nice it was of those companies not to require postage and how all companies should do that.

She again had a look on her face like she was ready to throw my undergraduate diploma out the window, but kindly replied “Danielle, EVERYTHING requires postage!  The box is a courtesy, however if there is no box then it still needs a stamp at the top right, are you sure you’re going to school for your Master's Degree?” 

Well that was beyond me, but my mother called all nine companies and explained the situation, they noted it and said call back in three to five business days and if we have not received the payment we can do a payment by phone and you will not be held responsible for any late fees. 

Phew, I dodged that one and lesson learned.

 --

To make myself feel better after revealing such experiences, I figured I would throw in a ‘blooper’ from my brother’s life.  He was a senior in High School and was applying to several colleges.  He said to me “I wrote all my entry essays can you edit since you are good at ‘inglish’ and ‘speling.’  I agreed and he gave me the drafts.

Every one of them started off with “I would like to attend you ‘collage’ because  ...”

I revised them all and am proud to say my brother did attend college and received his Undergraduate Degree, Masters Degree and PhD.

We all have those moments and it is important to laugh at them along with others.  Those moments do not define who we are or how smart we are, they just happen so laughter can be shared as you never know who is in need of a nice smile.  

The Last Hurrah

“Lightening crashes and a Mother Dies” – Live

---

“If you’re going to go then you might as well go out in style” – Kathleen Vermitsky

My mother did indeed utter those words above in her lifetime; many years ago as we had a series of deaths including family and friends each one of them had a final living send off where they saw people they had not seen in a while, the final living send off was a party full of great times and lasting memories.

It was November 2007 when my Uncle Paul turned fifty.  My Aunt MaryAnn had a nice party for him and we trekked to VA to attend.  My great Uncle Paul (Ounfer) said, “I’ll go as long as Danielle drives, she is such a pleasant driver and I enjoy our time together.”

Anyway, my great Uncle Paul was going, which was a shocker as he had never been to the area, he was content just seeing the family when they came to NJ.  The party was a great time, after much chardonnay Great Uncle Paul gave a speech – it involved a peacock and a mow hawk and I forget the exact details, but everyone enjoyed the story, laughed and toasted to it.

We all had a blast!

Less than a month later, my Great Uncle Paul passed away.

My mother was beside herself and did not know what to do, he was a prime example of a father figure to her – certainly more than her own father ever was.  She did speak of the party and how Uncle Paul saw everyone before he passed and isn’t that strange, I replied “yes, eerie you never know.”    

Fast forward to 2011, my mother and I were shopping at the mall and went in Bath and Body works where she ran into an old friend from a Child Care organization, Family Tree.  We had not seen the lady in years, but alas we were reconnected.

Similar instances happened with ‘run ins’ from folks we have not seen in years, many times.

It was Labor Day weekend and my mother had the bright idea to have a BBQ.  We NEVER have BBQ’S, but we did that weekend on September 3, 2011.  It was a great time from what I heard and attended.  Lots of laughing and crazy times with many ‘tingling’ moments and only a select few will know what I mean by that.  Point being, memories were made and cherished.

September 4, 2011 we all woke up to get ready for Steven’s Christening – everyone EXCEPT my mother.  It was a shock to say the least that she passed away throughout the night - however when I look back, I pinpoint all those unaccountable times when my mother reunited with folks and had a final word, it makes you wonder.

I share this piece because we are approaching Memorial Day Weekend which in conjunction goes hand and had with Labor Day Weekend so it too becomes a melon collie situation.  Every day of my life, let alone holidays will never be the same.  I must say, she did go out in style, but unfortunately that party was her ‘Last Hurrah.’

A Day In The Life Of My iPhone

I have a thankless job, but I literally stick by your side 24/7.

I was developed by humans, yet I am more intelligent than all of you and I become wiser each year. 

I wear many hats. 

I start my day off as an alarm clock and after twenty seven minutes and five snooze button hits I turn into a Facebook page to update you of what happened while you were asleep.  After Facebook I turn into an MMS engine so you can continue your important conversations with all of your friends.  Before you go to take your shower you stick a USB cable up my rear so I can re-energize.  After a short break, I turn into a meteorologist providing you with the weather so you know how to appropriately dress for the day.  I then turn back to a Facebook page so you can see who else is awake.  I get a brief break, but quickly turn back into Facebook so you can check us into Starbucks.  Next I become a dietitian  warning you how many calories are in that brownie and successfully persuade to get a banana instead.  Since we are at Starbucks every day, there is no need for me to let the barista know that you want a venti coffee bold as they already know;  I then pay for your coffee and banana as you swipe my home screen across the scanner because I link to your Starbucks gold card account and I’d hate for you to have to actually remember where your card is let alone get it out and hand it to the cashier.  We then get back in the car where you prick my rear again to re-energize me with the car charger.  I simultaneously become a GPS and traffic cam as you kindly say in your ‘sunny morning voice,’ “take me to work and route me accordingly so I don’t hit traffic.”

We arrive at work and I become a Facebook page again so we can check-in as if people don’t already know you work Monday through Friday.  As we walk in the building I serve as a distraction to the security guard as you pretend to make a phone call so you don’t get stuck in a five minute conversation with him; I will one day call you out and ring while you’re on your pretend phone call, remember that.  As we make it up to the third floor as you throw me on your desk, which is annoying by the way as my screen cracks easily and I am very expensive to replace so be kind and gentle.  I get intermittent breaks as you work, but I am always on guard and light up as a new phone call, e-mail, Facebook and/or text message arrives.  You quickly pick me up, see what’s going on and then slam me back on your desk.  After a few hours it’s time for a few meetings; I am privileged to attend these meetings as you think you’re so important that someone may need to get a hold of you during, however I know the truth.  We sit there and I turn into a blank page so you can type your meeting notes.  After a while the meeting becomes a bore I have to quickly become a Facebook page so we can post the following status “Zzzz’s” and then I have to switch to an angry birds game to help you pass the time.  Our day continues like such and then it is time to go home.  Again I get pricked in the rear with a charger and I simultaneously become a GPS and traffic cam as you command “take me home and route me accordingly so I don’t hit traffic.”  As I lay there on the passenger seat and mind you I am not buckled in, I finally turn into a victim as I hear you scream, “I said route me with NO traffic.”  Un-be-known to you I took you the route with the LEAST traffic as the turnpike, 295, 95 and the blue route were all jammed, but I sit there quietly and take such abuse.

We finally arrive home and I turn into the garage door opener as you command me to “open garage” and after you pull in you command me to “close garage.”  A little please and thank you would occasionally be appreciated, just sayin’.  We get in your ‘Palace’ and you throw me on your desk again where  I get intermittent breaks, but I am always on guard and light up as a new phone call, e-mail, Facebook and/or text message arrives.  Often times I serve as a communication device that allows you to hear another human’s voice and you two chat.  Finally it is bed time; after you prick me in the rear again with a charger I realize that I have some alone time as I sleep by your bedside accompanied by my partner in crime, your iPad.  You toss and turn as I try to rest and you use the iPad to check Facebook as you are blind and she has a bigger home screen, but I don’t get offended as I like my rest.  All of a sudden I am snatched up as you cannot sleep and am taken to the gym at midnight.  I didn’t plan on working in the wee morning hours, but as you wish and I have to work double time as I become your jukebox and personal trainer as I track your miles ran and calories burned.  We finally arrive home where you catch another hour of sleep while I prepare for my big debut as the alarm clock and get ready for another similar day.      

Seatbelts Save Lives

“It is important to live for the moment in the present, as ‘now’ is all we are ever promised.” – Danielle Vermitsky

--

Venti Starbucks coffee = $2.41, Cracked iPhone = $400.00, Totaled Mazda 6 = $27,425.00, Walking away from the accident and not a single scratch = PRICELESS!

It was December 5, 2010 and the final payment came out for my car.  It was my first brand new car I had purchased and paid off myself.  What a sigh of relief and I told my mother.  She congratulated me and said “enjoy, you maintain it very well and it will go another 170k miles.” 

I loved that car.    

---

After the snow storm of December 2010, it was a Sunday night and met the boy at Starbucks.  The ride up 168 South was horrific as they did not plow so on the way home I decided to take the AC Expressway as that surely had to be clear. 

It was clear all right, so clear I didn’t see the black ice patch I hit that sent my Mazda in a whirlwind of crazy moves before it flipped into the gully on the side of the road.  I sat there thinking “Ooops!” as my cell phone was cracked and dangling in my face from the console charger, I presumed I was flipped upside down at that point.  I grabbed the phone and was able to navigate the home screen to call my mother; I told her I had a little fender bender.  She was like “Oh no, where are you?”  I replied, “Oh you know just sitting here on the AC Expressway in a gully upside down.”  She was not amused, but gathered my father and they were on their way.  Three men pulled over to help me and I remember hearing them, one yelled “I have an axe in my truck so I am going to see if I can smash the back window and we can try to get to the person out.”  I remember yelling “Oh no don’t break my window, I am ok – just don’t break my window.” 

Then the thought occurred to me that maybe breaking the back window would not make a difference as I sat there in a pile of snow with a shattered windshield and being flipped upside down perhaps put a few dents in my car. 

The men were able to break the back window and pull me out.  Next thing I remember is the police, ambulance, fire trucks and my parents showing up.  Police officer said to me “license and registration.”  I looked at him ready to roll my eyes, but kindly replied, “The registration is in the glove compartment and is locked and license is in my handbag.”  He was not amused as he had to trek to the car and try and find everything.  He came back a half hour later with my handbag and registration, I opened my handbag and was like “Oh yeah I forgot, my license is in the center console of the car.”  He said to me, “Are you serious” as he scurried back to the car to find.

Everything became settled, police officer declared this a no fault accident due to natural causes and my car was towed away. 

Next day my mother spoke with the insurance company and adjuster and said they would send the car to Rocco’s Collision to have it repaired.  I was very happy as I thought my orange ‘punkin’ was totaled.  I went to the tow place to sign the paperwork to have it sent to Rocco’s and when I saw my car I said to the guy “Oh wow, I can’t believe that is fixable.”  He burst out laughing as he said “Honey the only people who have seen this car is you and me – this will ultimately be sent to the junk yard.”  As it turns out he was right.  My mother and I went to Rocco’s and gather my stuff out of the car and as we left my mother saw a tear stream down my face and she said “go back around, get out and say good bye again, I’ll wait in the car.”  I did just that and also stole a floor mat as a keepsake. 

I share this story as a lesson as you never know when life will flip upside down, literally.  I was very lucky to walk away with not even a scratch, just a few aches and pains the following days, but all fixable.  However, it seems we take so much for granted these days that we miss out on enjoying the present for what it is.  I could have easily been sent to the graveyard in a matter of a split second, but instead my car was sent to the junk yard.  It also, goes to prove that material items are just that.  They are nice to have, but not worth needing or stressing over; while I loved that car, I am still alive without it.  The real items worth needing are the good times and laughs with family and friends as well as the heart to heart chats that make everything all better.  So just enjoy and do something in the ‘NOW.’  

Mother

It’s my first Mother’s Day in Heaven, but I my role as a Mother has never ended.

I can no longer be with my two children, Danielle and John-Paul on earthly grounds, but I watch over them from a bird’s eye view 24/7.

And I want them to know ..

I was the tire that blew out for them on the road and delayed their destination by twenty-five minutes as there was a horrific accident that occurred ahead at the time they would have arrived twenty-five minutes later and it would have been them;

I was their dogs bark at two in the morning that woke them up as if they had slept through the night they would have had a nightmare so chilling it would have terrified them;

I was the cold wind and rain they felt as they went to leave for work to remind them to wear a jacket and take their umbrella. 

You see I can no longer be with them, hug them or help point them in the right direction in person, but I am always with them and always will be.  I will still let them make those one off decisions that lead them to realize, "maybe that was not such a great idea," as they grow better by learning for themselves, but will always keep a close watch and redirect certain situations where at the end of the day, they know it was me.   

--

It’s my first Mother’s Day in Heaven, but I my role as a Mother has never ended.

The term Mother is universal, once you accept the task it becomes who you are and what you do, not only to your own children, but you play the role for all those in need.  I can see my children now sitting there twiddling their thumbs and rolling their eyes as they hear and/or see another commercial about Mother’s Day.  They don’t understand and this Mother’s Day will be hard for them.

But I want them to know ..

For every child God takes from this world, he in return also takes someone’s Mother.  God has welcomed me into Heaven and blessed me with a child to take care of that I never had the opportunity to meet and care for in person.  I cannot replace her own  Mother, but for the time being I’ve showed her the ropes and will smile with pride when she gives me a handmade card designed from her heart with markers and finger paints this Sunday (May 13, 2012) simply thanking me for all I do.  Similarly I’ve placed Mother’s all over for my children to seek and rely on.  It is an in explainable trade off, but the beauty is that everyone is taken care of.

My Two Cents

Energy and persistence conquer all things. - Benjamin Franklin

---

Thirty years ago, doctors discovered that I had craniosynostosis which is a condition in which one or more of the fibrous sutures in an infant skull prematurely fuses by ossification, thereby changing the growth pattern of the skull.  My parents decided to have the surgery to correct this for me and if I were to successfully pull through then there was to be that I would encounter difficulties down the road, such as not being able to speak, learning at a very slow pace and difficulties with walking and such.  At five months old, I went under the knife and pulled through successfully. 

I remember my mother talking about this often with me, mostly when I would look at a portrait she had of me at five months old and I would always comment on what a great picture that is.  She would tell the story every time, “That was right before your surgery, your father and I had that taken just in case you didn’t survive – we would always have the picture.”  Was always kind of an eerie thought and story to hear, but I pulled through so becomes one of those laughable moments. 

---

The doctors said I may never be able to speak, yet I have not stopped talking since I was one year old.

The doctors said that I would not develop proper movement skills and would have difficulty even walking, yet to date I’ve completed countless races ranging from 5K’s to the Marathon, completed a triathlon, The Tough Mudder Challenge and practiced Martial Arts and received my Black Belt.

The doctors said I would endure difficulty with learning and struggle greatly in school, yet I sailed through school, graduated college from LaSalle University and even went back for more to complete my Masters Degree in Information Technology Leadership. 

As I sit here and write, I look to my left a see a wall filled with countless race bibs and medals hanging on my wall and as I look to the right I see trophy’s from various races and karate tournaments accompanied by my undergraduate and graduate diplomas on the wall along with various certificates from Microsoft, (ISC) ² and CompTIA.

Now the point of the story is not to toot my own horn, but to relay the message that whatever your goals are in life, then you should shoot for them no matter what regardless of the fact if others tell you that you simply cannot or will not meet them.  The only person who can tell you what you want and will achieve is you! 

So I encourage all of you to set high goals and toot your own horn along the way as whatever you achieve in life deserves to be commended.

Customers Like Me Who Needs Criminals

Kaitlyn, Billy and I were at the Meadows Diner for lunch yesterday and we finish, got up and walked out!  We had a very nice lunch and were off on the hunt for purple roses to visit Kathy.

I woke up with that 'aha' moment this morning and realized YIKES I never paid the check!!  I didn't even wait for it to come; we just walked out with not a care in the world. 

--

I walked in this morning and snagged Maria and started my rant and said “Maria!!  I was in yesterday with the kids and totally walked out and never paid the check.  I had the kids, my brother and dad popped over and interrupted me and ..” she stopped me mid explanation and said "Honey, honey calm down what are you so flustered for?  It’s no big deal, just breathe, we'll figure it out." 

I looked her straight in the eye and said "well you know what it is I not am not use to paying this check business, LOL." 

We both laughed hysterically at that, figured everything out and it's settled now plus the waiter got a $10 tip on a $20 check, LOL!     

Maria was a great sport about it; in fact she told me “honey listen to me it seriously happens all the time and mostly with the regulars and when they realize they just come back and it’s settled no big deal.  We’ve been in business so long even before you were born and a few checks here and there are not going to close us down.” 

She said “listen honey have a Happy Easter are you doing the breakfast?  I know about that because your mother and I were chatting one year and I said to her no wonder why our business is so slow on Easter morning, half of Blackwood is at your house!  Enjoy and I am happy you are keeping the tradition up, mommy is smiling down on you guys, always remember that. 

--

 It’s amazing how a short Greek woman can brighten up a bittersweet holiday!  

Matryoshka Dolls

"All children are brilliant, beautiful and take after their Grandmother"

---

A very true statement!  I am very much like my mother who in return was very much like her mother; the three of us were like a set of Matryoshka Dolls.  

My grandmother was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY.  A true New Yorker indeed, however after raising her family in New York the time came to move to New Jersey to be with her family as they had moved a few years prior and most of all she wanted to be with her grandchildren. She took pride in her grandchildren and spoiled us rotten, yet set us straight when were misbehaving.  She spent as much time as she could with John-Paul, Paul Andrew and myself and we have some pretty amazing memories of our time with her.  

I remember every Friday night my grandmother along with my mother took John-Paul and I to the Deptford mall, every week no question about it. It was always a fun time as mama always spoiled us kids and I remember my mother saying "stop spoiling them, they have enough." Mama simply looked at my mother and said, "When you have grandchildren of your own you may do the same and the beauty of a woman in my position is that I get to enjoy them and give them back to you at the end of the day." After shopping around at the mall we would always stop for ice cream at TCBY in the mall, it became tradition. I however did not like TCBY, so I would sit there in a snit as my mother was like, just try it. Mama rescued me every week and said "come on Danielle; let's get you something else in the food court that you will enjoy." I skipped away holding mama's hand and always looking back and sticking my tongue out at my mother as if to say "HA."  

It was a Friday afternoon and John-Paul and I just got home from school and mama was there.  She sat John-Paul and I down to let us know that she and papa were taking us to Disneyworld that summer. We were so excited!! As school ended for the year we were getting ready and counting the days, however it was no surprise That Paul Krug Sr. would back out as he had more important things to do than to spend time with 'two brats' he would never call his grandchildren. Mama was heartbroken, but my mother turned her frown upside down and said "I’ll go, it will be wonderful time." It was indeed a wonderful time, although things started out shaky. A simple two hour flight seemed to last two days to mama and my mother as I sat with mama on the plane with a double ear infection and my were ears popping all over during flight and I screamed the whole way as everyone on the plane just starred at my grandmother as she rocked me a tried to calm me down. Mama was not disturbed by the stares and comments of the other passengers and she screamed to them "she has a double ear infection and is in pain and if I could give all of you the same ear infections I would, just to see how you like it." The stares and comments quickly ended, mama was a sharp shooter and did not let anyone get in her way. Meanwhile, my mother had the pleasure of minding my brother as he sat there throwing up repeatedly as my mother screamed to the flight attendant "we need another bag and for Christ sake just bring me a stack and stop bringing me one at a time, I’ll give the remainder back after the flight, I promise." Another sharp shooter and a woman who let nothing or no one get in her way. Despite the flight, the rest of our vacation was amazing and indeed wonderful.

The following year, mama was blessed with another grandchild, Paul Andrew Krug. He joined the grandchildren clan and we had so fun with mama as we all continued to be spoiled and loved. I was happy because Paul Andrew was a boy and I was still the only girl and mama's princess. Two years later, Aunt Maryann was expecting another child, I prayed day and night saying, "Please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, please let Aunt Maryann have another boy, etc." Indeed on December 28th a baby boy was born, Michael Steven Krug and I was still the only granddaughter and princess.

Two months later I was excited as Michael's Christening was the following Saturday and I would get to see the family and have a great time as usual. Yet that Sunday before and I remember it very well, mama was sick and in the hospital. That Sunday night my mommy came into the room where John-Paul and I were watching cartoons and I said "do we have to go to school tomorrow? Can we take off to go and see mama, please?" My real motive was not to have to go to school, but I thought throwing mama's name in the mix would help my case. My mother sadly replied, "No, mama passed away and is in heaven now, no school tomorrow or the rest of the week." My tiny heart broke and I would have rather gone to school over that. That Saturday Michael was never christened, it was on hold as we all had a funeral to attend. It was a very sad day for all of us. I remember sitting in the church pew as a little kid and thinking "why did she leave me? I was her princess." I never understood and perhaps never will.

As time moved on and us kids grew up and I remember Michael saying that "mama sounded like an amazing woman and I am sorry I never got to know her better."

She was indeed wonderful and I felt his pain, but my mother to the rescue, took care of all her nephews as her own, just like mama did to her grandchildren. Yet as she did that I still saw the glimmer of sadness in my mother's eyes everyday of her life. She lost her mother and for over nineteen years had to live with that and it broke her heart every day. I remember talking with my mother as I expressed my own sadness at the loss, but I truly did not know what that pain was like. I said to her, "We were taught and raised right and it’s you and me forever kid and I want to have you here as long as forever, I love you so much." She smiled and said "It absolutely is us 'kids' and I would never wish the loss of a mother on my worst enemy, what a tragedy and she was so young at 63 years old, can you imagine? It is simply not fair” I simply replied, "No I can never imagine, nor do I ever want too."

I wonder if my mother is eating her own words now "what a tragedy and she was so young at 63 years old, can you imagine? It is simply not fair."  

Indeed life is unfair and that was a lesson mama taught me, even at an early age.  She also taught me to make the best of every situation as there is nothing that could not be resolved.  It may take some work and patience, but everything always seems to work out with the right attitude and efforts.  My mother taught me the same.  

A loss is never easy to define, so many "whys."  However, as my grandmother taught me - every situation must be made the best of no matter what.  Despite my many moments of nervous breakdowns over the loss of both mama and my mother I am pulling full effort to make the best of what has transpired.  You see I could sit here and cry and curse the world, but what good would that do?  Mama taught me better than that.  While sadness can creep in I am learning to soak it in when appropriate and the rest of the time is spent honoring a life well lived.  It could be as simple of making a right decision and following advice that mama gave me years ago and knowing that she is smiling from heaven because of it.  

So this Friday - February 24, 2012 will be the 20th anniversary that mama passed away and instead of dwelling in my grief I will take a spin around the Deptford mall just like we always did every Friday with mama and as an added bonus, I will spend my father's money just as my mother always did ;-)  I will remember two very special ladies all in one shot, haha!