Watermelon is fully back in
season and as I was at Whole Foods buying some already cut up and seeds taken
out I remembered funny a story and was inspired to write about a few ‘bloopers’
of my life where common sense took a day trip and laughs were shared at my
expense and a little piece from my brother’s life too!
Five years ago I ran The
Revolutionary Run on the Fourth of July. The race was a great time and
afterwards they had a nice display of fruit. One thing that stood out for
me was the watermelon. It was perfectly cut and the race organizers took
every seed out. I thought that was a nice touch and was very
impressed. As I got home my mother asked how the race was and I replied,
“It was great and they had lots of fruit afterwards and guess what mom!”
She replied, “What?” I said, “Someone took all the seeds out of the
watermelon so we wouldn't have to pick through, isn’t that
impressive?” She had a look on her face like she was ready to scratch her
head wondering why she paid for that undergraduate degree from the university,
but she kindly replied, “That’s wonderful Danielle, sounds like you really
enjoyed it, however is it possible that the watermelon was seedless?”
In my defense, I did not know
seedless watermelon existed.
My mother told everyone the
story.
---
It was a summer day and I had
the day off, my mother sat there writing out the bills and placing them in
their appropriate envelope. She ran out of stamps and asked me if I would
go to the post office and buy stamps, place them on the envelopes and mail
out. I agreed and was on my merry way and as I ran outside with envelopes
in hand my mother screamed “stamps go on the upper right side of the envelope.”
I replied back, “I know, I know, do I look like an idiot?”
I arrived at the post office
and got a book of stamps and went to the side counter and placed a stamp on the
first five envelopes which all had the ‘place stamp here’ box. I flipped
to the sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth envelope and they did not have the
little ‘place stamp here boxes.’ I thought to myself that’s very nice of
the company not to require any postage, so didn't place a stamp on
those dropped all the envelopes in the mailbox and headed back home. I
gave my mom the remaining stamps and she said, “Change.” I said, oh it’s
in my car; I’ll get it later” – meaning she would never see it again, that’s
how I roll. I went in the living room and all of a sudden hear my mother
call, “Danielle!” I said, “What?” She replied “are you a light bulb
with that ‘what’ business, come here.”
I knew that was coming, one of
my mother’s number one rules – never say ‘what’ when she calls you, always go
see what she wants in person.
I went in the kitchen and she
said, “I gave you nine envelopes and you only used five stamps.” I was
quick to reply, “Yes five envelopes had the ‘place stamp here’ box, but the
other four didn't so must not require postage” and I went on about
how nice it was of those companies not to require postage and how all companies
should do that.
She again had a look on her
face like she was ready to throw my undergraduate diploma out the window, but
kindly replied “Danielle, EVERYTHING requires postage! The box is a courtesy,
however if there is no box then it still needs a stamp at the top right, are
you sure you’re going to school for your Master's Degree?”
Well that was beyond me, but my
mother called all nine companies and explained the situation, they noted it and
said call back in three to five business days and if we have not received the
payment we can do a payment by phone and you will not be held responsible for
any late fees.
Phew, I dodged that one and
lesson learned.
--
To make myself feel better
after revealing such experiences, I figured I would throw in a ‘blooper’ from
my brother’s life. He was a senior in High School and was applying to
several colleges. He said to me “I wrote all my entry essays can you edit
since you are good at ‘inglish’ and ‘speling.’ I agreed and he gave me
the drafts.
Every one of them started off
with “I would like to attend you ‘collage’ because ...”
I revised them all and am proud
to say my brother did attend college and received his Undergraduate Degree,
Masters Degree and PhD.
We all have those moments and
it is important to laugh at them along with others. Those moments do not
define who we are or how smart we are, they just happen so laughter can be
shared as you never know who is in need of a nice smile.
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